BMW 220i review: Hooray for childlessness!

I know BMW has a 3 Series, 5 Series and 7 Series, but please explain this ‘2 Series’ stuff.
This here is a 220i Coupe Sport, and it is basically a celebration of childlessness.

Come again?
Well, it’s a small car with two doors and four seats, and it was built to deliver driving fun with a bit of style. Basically, poor old family folk have to drive MPVs, and childless people like me can think about this, a car that can’t schlep a lot of stuff around but can bring a huge smile to your face. It slots nicely into the consumerist lives of DINKY couples, who might look at it and think, “Who needs children?”

But a car can never love you back.
True. But the 220i Coupe will also never talk back to you, break your stuff, come home pregnant at age 14 or grow up to be Jeffrey Dahmer.

Yes, but you still haven’t explained what a 2 Series is.
You could say that this 220i Coupe is a replacement for the old 1 Series Coupe. Remember that? Here’s a pic in case you don’t.

If you reckon the 220i looks a bit less pudgy than that, it’s because it has sleeker, more sporty proportions. It’s longer, wider and slightly lower (by 72mm, 26mm and 5mm respectively). In spite of all that growth, it hasn’t gained any weight, either. Clever, these Germans.

But why call it a ‘2 Series’?
If you’ll notice, BMW now uses odd numbers for more mainstream cars, including the 1 Series, which is a mechanical sibling to this car. Even numbers are now being applied to the more fun, stylish models, like the 4 and 6 Series. Anyway, BMW has used ‘2’ before in the past, like on the 2002 — an ancient relative to this car, but also conceived to be fun and frisky.

So, is it as fun to drive as it looks?
Most assuredly so. There isn’t a huge amount of power, but because the 220i Coupe weighs less than 1.4 tonnes, it feels sprightly and is quick enough to amuse. The turbo 2.0-litre engine has plenty of torque to hurl you along fairly smartly, too, so there's no need to rev the dickens out of it.

The handling is the real treat, because the 220i is just delightfully lively around corners, with loads of feedback from the steering and a real sense that the car wants to zip through bends all day. Small cars sometimes feel like that. This is one of those times.

That means it’s a sportscar, then.
Not exactly. There isn’t an enormous amount of cornering grip from the tyres, so it’s not a car for doing heroic laptimes in. The sound from the engine isn’t the sort to make the small hairs stand, either. Instead, the BMW’s appeal lies in its responsiveness to your steering inputs, and a basic balance that lets it tiptoe along the edge of grip when you’re cornering hard. It’s more frisky than fast. Drive it and you want to put the driving mode into ‘Sport’ all the time, which you wouldn’t do with, say, a 5 Series.

But what’s it like to live with on a day-to-day basis?
If you use your car as a mobile cupboard, it’ll be rough going. The boot is all of 390 litres in volume. That’s 20 litres up on the boot of 1 Series Coupe, but objectively it’s not a lot. For reference, Mercedes’ curvy CLA-Class has 471 litres of boot space. Still, if you need more cargo room you can fold the rear seats (in a 40:20:40 split). Speaking of which, it’s fairly claustrophobic when you sit on them. I’m 1.74m tall (ok fine, 1.735m) but I have to slouch to fit into the rear. The upside is, own a 220i Coupe and eventually, none of your pals will ask to be given a lift home.

What a selfish car.
Yep. And your point is?

Er, my point is, you just don’t seem to be getting much car at all?
For the people in the front seats, there’s actually a lot. Executive bells and whistles like satellite navigation, Bluetooth phone integration, keyless entry and engine starting, a glass sunroof and so on are standard. You even get the touch-sensitive iDrive controller that lets you spell out satnav inputs with a finger.

In the standard Sport trim, you also get a gloss black finish for various bits of the exterior, subtly racy front seats, and tasty red stitching on the steering wheel.

Nevertheless, some cabin materials are a let-down. The dashboard and upholstery are quite posh, but some plastics feel dreadfully cheap (rear cupholders, I’m looking at you). Still, it’s fair to say you should buy this if you enjoy driving, not if you have a fetish for touching your car’s inner bits.

Ok, I’m sold. How much?
The 220i Coupe was launched last night for $199,800 with COE. Mind you, if you’re a hedonist you can have the M235i for $253,800 with COE. That one’s 77 percent more powerful.

Woah, how am I supposed to afford that?
Blame taxes and pricey COEs if you must. But bear in mind that there isn’t a lot else out there that’s as fun to drive, well-equipped or impressive to the neighbours. Otherwise, just remember where we came in, and start looking up vasectomy prices: after all, the one thing in Singapore that could well be more expensive than owning a car is raising a kid.

NEED TO KNOW BMW 220i Coupe Sport
Engine 1,997cc, 16V, turbo in-line four
Power 184bhp from 5000 to 6250rpm
Torque 270Nm from 1250 to 4500rpm
Gearbox 8-speed Steptronic automatic
Top Speed 230km/h
0-100km/h 7.0 seconds
Fuel consumption 6.0L/100km
CO2 139g/km
Price $199,800 with COE
Availability Now

For the full review of the new BMW 220i Coupe Sport, plus all the latest in motoring news, pick up a copy of CarBuyer #220, which goes on sale in March.