BMW M235i review – Song and dance

SINGAPORE - There is a fancy Harman/Kardon sound system in the BMW M235i, but I’ll be darned if I know what it sounds like. That’s because over the three days I spent with the car I never played a single song on it.

Why would you, when the main entertainment system is the six-cylinder engine that powers the little BMW, and the bloody brilliant noise it makes?

Turbo engines tend to sound a bit muted, but someone forgot to tell the M235i’s engineers. Its 3.0-litre six might be force-fed, but it has a gorgeous voice that readily rises to a rich, cultured howl, a sound that bursts with exuberance just as the engine itself is doing its thing with considerable vim.

That wild, hair-stirring noise accompanies some pretty exhilarating acceleration, too. 100km/h takes 4.8 seconds, and it takes all your common sense to hold yourself back from seeing how little time it would take to double that speed.

Man, I love this car. There are shortcomings with the 2 Series platform in general, like the fact that it’s essentially less spacious or useful than a Toyota Yaris, and the way it falls short of the high standards for ride comfort set by the other BMWs, but in M235i form it’s just a bundle of laughs.

Some people have compared it to the first M3, but that’s nonsense. For one thing, that car wasn’t as fast, and more to the point, it actually provided a sense of intimacy and man/machine harmony that I suspect will never be replicated in the modern world.

The M235i delivers the smiles in an altogether different—and much wilder—way. Plough through a fast corner as quickly as you can, and while the BMW’s nose feels dependably planted, the rear end moves around a little, not enough to frighten you, but in tiny squirming actions that make you pay attention to what you’re doing at the wheel.

It’s enough to have you thinking that, with 326bhp under the bonnet, the M235i has just that teeny bit too much power for the chassis, and suggests that if you’re not careful you’ll bung the whole lot into the trees.

But when it comes down to it, the BMW actually musters heroic levels of grip. And in the dry at least, it’s actually fairly difficult to unstick the tail. You’ll be fast without trying, which means that when you do go for it, you’ll be devastatingly quick.

On a slippery surface, however, all bets are off. There’s just so much torque reaching the rear wheels that (if you have the traction control switched off) you’re only ever a twitch of the foot away from fishtailing down the road.

In that sense, the M235i actually reminds me a lot of the E36 M3 Evolution, another tail-happy car with an even more glorious soundtrack and a tendency to reciprocate if you decided to get crazy.

I got a bollocking for returning that test car with shagged rear tyres after three days, and I remember it being terrifying to drive in the rain. But of course, I think of it as one of the greatest BMWs ever.

For all that the M235i evokes that hell-raising piece of history, it does have its gentler side. Ultimately its engine is also regularly installed in the 7 Series, so when you want your car to be a haven of quiet contemplation, the M235i obliges. Crawl along with traffic, and it plays the part of hushed, refined conveyance nicely.

There’s an eight-speed auto (the M3 had either a vague Getrag six-speed manual or worse, a jerky semi-auto) that provides seamless shifts and makes those blasts to 100km/h a simple matter of pressing the throttle pedal down, and the latest BMW conveniences are all present and accounted for.

That means a tidy (almost to the point of being bland) cabin that houses most of its controls within the neat, touch-sensitive iDrive system, and frills like power seats, Bluetooth phone interfacing, satnav, keyless operation and so on.

There’s also the drive selector button that puts the car into various stages of raunchiness, ranging between the languid but fuel-saving EcoPro setting to the playful Sport+ mode, and it’s a hallmark of how eager the M235i is to please that you seldom feeling like using anything but the latter.

It’s perhaps a little surprising that in spite of its sparkling enthusiasm for going fast, the M235i looks so understated. There’s a little wing on the boot, and the brake calipers are painted blue, but otherwise there isn’t much to scream that this is a car that is nearly as quick as a Porsche 911.

Depending on how you view these things, that’s either a plus or a turn-off, but the styling is the last thing I would buy this car for. In fact I happen to think that its looks awkward from some angles, and is a little heavy in the caboose area.

But the sense of sheer exhilaration you get from driving the M235i is reason enough to seriously consider one if you can. It M235i shows that BMW hasn’t forgotten to focus on making cars that have a built-in sense of fun.

And then of course, there is the lovely soundtrack from the engine. In more than one way, then, the M235i is a scream.

NEED TO KNOW BMW M235i
Engine: 2,979cc, 24v, inline 6, turbocharged
Power: 326bhp at 5800-6000rpm
Torque: 450Nm at 1300-4500rpm
Gearbox: 8-speed automatic
Top Speed: 250km/h
0-100km/h: 4.8 seconds
Fuel efficiency: 7.6L/100km
CO2: 176g/km
Price: $253,800 w/COE
Availability: Now