Brittany Cartwright Wonders What She Was Thinking By Staying with Estranged Husband Jax Taylor 'This Long'

"I know my worth and I know I do not deserve to be in a relationship like this," the Kentucky native said on the June 4 finale of 'The Valley'

The first season of The Valley came to an end on Tuesday, June 4, and so did four cast members’ marriages.

Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright put the finishing touches on their sports bar Jax’s Studio City before its opening, and Brittany, 35, even flew in Jax’s sister as a surprise for the occasion. Brittany thought that act of kindness might make Jax feel bad for treating her poorly recently.

“It can be frustrating, and I feel like you don't listen to me sometimes,” Brittany told Jax, 44. “I feel like you’re not even attracted to me sometimes.”

Related: Brittany Cartwright Says 'Toxic' Jax Taylor Marriage 'Got Worse' After The Valley Stopped Filming (Exclusive)

Jax blamed stress for his recent outbursts. Still, Brittany felt disappointed that they didn’t start trying for a second child.

“It kind of hurts my feelings that whenever it came time for our schedule to try to start trying for the baby this month, you were just so against it,” she said. Jax again said he’d been “overwhelmed.”

“As much as I want to have a kid, even I don't know how me and you can bring another baby into this world if we don’t fix these things in our relationship, you know what I mean?” Brittany told Jax. “Because I don't want this for our future.”

Still, Jax saw him and Brittany making it to the opening of Jax’s Studio City as a win. At the opening party — where Janet Caperna and Zack Wickham argued about him not being invited to her babymoon trip — Jax told attendees he wouldn’t have wanted to open the bar without Brittany.

“I think we beat the odds when it goes to opening a bar with a partner or a significant other, husband, wife, whatever, I think this is the one thing that is keeping Brittany and I together,” Jax said in a confessional interview. “And right now, the future’s looking pretty bright.”

The episode flashed forward six months to March, weeks after Brittany moved out of the house she shared with Jax and their 3-year-old son Cruz and the former Vanderpump Rules stars confirmed their separation.

“I didn't see this coming, sorry,” Jax said through tears in a confessional interview. “I never thought I would be in the position I’m in right now.”

At the same time, Jesse Lally shared that Michelle Saniei Lally told him their relationship was “over” three days after filming ended and asked for a divorce.

“It made me feel like a f---ing idiot,” he told the cameras. “It made me feel like I was blind and blindsided.”

Related: Jax Taylor Supports Valley Costars Jesse Lally and Michelle Saniei, Who've Also Separated: 'Marriage Is Not Easy' (Exclusive)

But Michelle, 36, felt certain of her choice.

“I finally hit that point where I knew I’m done and I want to move on and I want to get divorced and start my new life,” she said in a confessional. “There's no question whether or not I made the right choice.”

Brittany met up with Michelle and the other ladies at Janet’s house to debrief about her split. The Kentucky native told them she moved out six weeks ago with Cruz because “Jax would not leave the house.”

She also explained what caused her to finally make that decision after months of fighting.

“He was like going out to the bar and stuff, coming home and having these horrible hangovers that would make him mean as a f---ing snake,” Brittany said. “I’m asleep, next morning I wake up to Jax barreling in. Me and Cruz are in my bed together by the way, he comes in, ‘Why is Luke texting me right now asking me if he needs someone to talk to because of everything that I’m going through?’ Finally, after he’s already been screaming at me for hours.”

At the end of the episode, Brittany and Jax met up at their house to talk. Jax informed Brittany that he made a therapy appointment, which she’d been encouraging him to do. But Brittany thought he only did that to look good for the cameras.

“This is all a front,” she said in a confessional. “This is what he wants everyone to see and believe that he's actually going to do these things to change.”

Jax admitted in a confessional that he didn't go to the therapy appointment because it was “really far.”

“I do want you back, but you know what? You decided to leave me, which was hard for me in the beginning. But as the times been going on, this has been nice?” Jax said to Brittany. “Don’t you agree.”

Brittany called their time apart “amazing,” but she suspected Jax’s levelheadedness in that moment wouldn’t last.

“As soon as the cameras drop, you’re going to text me a million text messages and talk horrible,” Brittany said to Jax. “You’re going to rage text the s--- out of me. Be real.”

Brittany shared that she felt “weird” being in her own bedroom and that she didn’t know how to talk to Jax.

“We still clearly can’t even be in the same room together without arguing so I don’t know what else I can do to show you that I’m trying here,” Jax told the cameras.

Brittany accused Jax of lying “for attention” in the press.

“I just feel like I have woken up,” Brittany said in a confessional. “Like, I feel so much stronger now. I know I’ll be OK, but I know my worth and I know I do not deserve to be in a relationship like this. What was I thinking staying with him this long?”

Related: Brittany Cartwright Doesn't Believe Jax Taylor Cheated but Says 'It's Always, Always in the Back of My Mind'

Brittany and Jax ended their conversation by agreeing not to fight in front of Cruz.

“It’s been an amazing nine years,” Jax said in a confessional. “It really, really has. I have no regrets. I love Brittany, I do. I love my wife. The only thing that’s going to make or break this is time.”

Since filming wrapped, Jax has been spotted getting lunch with model Paige Woolen.

"I am not — I repeat not — dating anybody. I was seen out with someone and it was strictly lunch. Obviously, Brittany and I are separated and have been for a long time,” he said on the May 31 episode of the When Reality Hits with Jax and Brittany podcast. “I want to make that very clear.”

Jax added, however, that he and Brittany have discussed “possibly, dating other people.”

"We are trying to exhaust everything before we have to go down the divorce road,” the reality star said, “if that would be the case.”

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