Candy Pangilinan's journey with her special child
Caring for a special child is no walk in the park, especially when you're a working mom. Ask Candy Pangilinan, whose son, Quentin Alvarado, 10, was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) plus a “high-sensory integration problem.”
Candy's only child has a hard time focusing on just one thing and making heads and tails out of his thoughts, feelings and situations.
“Sabi sa akin (ng doctor) gumagawa siya ng sarili niyang mundo. Lahat ng gulong, pinapaiikot niya. Kahit square, pinapaikot niya. Dati, ang gagawin niya, iuuntog ang ulo sa dingding at kakagatin ang sarili nya. Noong mas bata pa siya, matatalisod siya. Mahina ang motor skills e. At dahil hindi na-signal sa brain yung pain, kapag bumagsak siya at nakita kaming nagulat, doon siya magsasabi ng ‘Ouch!” says Candy.
Surprise of her life
Signs pointed to autism – or so Candy herself thought as she answered a questionnaire from her doctor. Other physicians agreed with her. So she got the surprise of her life when she returned to the only one who withheld judgment -- Dr. Francis Dimalanta. He ruled out autism in Quentin some six months ago.
Candy asked him if her estranged husband’s presence is needed to heal her son. The doctor said no, all her son needs at this point is consistency.
When he rolls the ball, Candy tells him over and over that he must bounce it instead. When he cries his lungs out because she, or the therapist gives him instructions or a schedule to follow, Candy steels herself and ignores the boy.
Tough love
“Natuto ako ng tough love,” she says on the set of “Beki Boxer,” where Candy plays lead star Alwyn Uytingco’s doting mom “Wala pang batang namatay sa iyak. Hinahayaan ko siyang umiyak hanggang mapaos. Kailangan matigas ka. Ayaw kasi ng kagaya nila ang sistema, yung may structure.”
She developed her son’s speech, not just by talking to him. She drills him on the right pronunciation of words, even if she’s out working on a teleserye or another project.
“Pasalamat ako sa gadgets kasi kahit out of the country ako, nakakausap ko siya araw-araw. Vini-video ko ang sarili ko at sinasabi sa kanya, “Good morning, Quentin!”
She plays the video over and over so her son will learn the right way to pronounce words.
“Naloloka nga ang nanay ko kasi ginagamit ko raw ang pag-aartista ko okay Quentin,” states Candy.
Paying off
But she doesn’t mind because her hard work is paying off. From using sign language, her son has learned to talk – and talk and talk.
“When we go jogging, he asks me why we keep on running when we have our own car. When I tell him I’m going to work, he asks me, ‘Are you going to cry? Are you going to laugh?’ If I say yes, he replies with ‘That’s good.”
Candy also reports that her son has learned how to make eye contact and has honed his social skills.
“May pag-asa because of therapy and consistency. Kailangan tutok at mahabang pasensiya. Magastos din.”
Beki Boxer role
That’s why Candy doesn’t turn down offers, even if she’s playing a mother for the first time in “Beki Boxer.” As an understanding mother of a gay boxer, Candy is the glue that keeps the family together.
In real life, the single mom doesn’t mind playing a mother for the first time because she needs work. Candy could use the money to pay for Quentin’s tuition in a regular school and special education class. She also hired an occupational therapist, a speech therapist and a shadow teacher for her son.
The enterprising mom put up Qbags by Candy Pangilinan and set up shop at Wellworth Department Store along Commonwealth Avenue, Quezon City. Netizens can view the items on Facebook and Instagram.
Acting, of course, is always an option. Fifteen years of acting experience has not kept Candy from auditioning in Dulaang UP.
“Gusto ko magkaroon ako ng role maliban sa best friend. Tingin ko naman nasuportahan ko na silang lahat (lead performers on TV and the movies).”
Tired of promises
Candy admits she’s tired of waiting for promises of a launching movie or TV project, to come true.
“Bumibilang na ng isang taon, wala pa.”
What she’s excited about is a book on her journey as the mom of a special child. Candy is writing the book together with Quentin’s doctor, who thought about it in the first place.
“I started with pregnancy, then childbirth. Na-stress ba ang bata due to prolonged labor? Na-forcep ba siya? Nagkulang ba ang oxygen sa utak? Was it forced or induced labor? Hihimay-himayin ko yan.”
For fellow moms
Candy promises to answer questions of moms who are in the same boat. She’s already in the part where her son is age three or four.
Target release of the book is September or October and she’s already talking with possible publishers.
With Candy sharing her experience with fellow moms, expect a captive audience, relieved at finally having someone to unload their heavy burden to.
