Colton Underwood Opens Up About Journey to Fatherhood After Learning He Had 'No Sperm' (Exclusive)
'The Bachelor' alum is launching the podcast 'Daddyhood' on Feb. 21 to document his road to becoming a parent
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Colton Underwood always knew he wanted to be a dad.
The reality star, 32, first rose to fame on The Bachelor in 2019 before publicly coming out as gay in 2021. In May, he’ll celebrate his first wedding anniversary with husband Jordan C. Brown, and Underwood says the desire to become parents is a foundational part of their relationship.
“It was one of the things that bonded us early on. We both wanted to be dads. I was very vocal on that,” Underwood tells PEOPLE. “It's a traditional sort of part of my life that I really wanted to hold onto — I wanted to have a family. And just figuring out next steps and stages was sort of a mystery to us until it wasn't. I realized early on, nobody talks about this. There's no resources, there's no books, there's no guide. You sort of get tossed into the fire.”
Underwood and his husband have been on their fertility journey for nearly two years now, he says, and he'll be chronicling the entire process on his new podcast, Daddyhood, launching Feb. 21.
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"I've gone back and forth on if I wanted to do this for quite some time now, just because it is so personal and Jordan is such a private person, and this is really inviting people back into our lives, which I'm excited about," says Underwood of creating the podcast. "I like being somewhat of an open book."
The couple officially have embryos made and frozen and are currently undergoing testing with their surrogate, whose identity they are keeping private.
Still, Underwood was surprised by the challenges he faced early on in the process, especially in comparison to his husband whose testing was a breeze.
“I think outside of the LGBTQ+ matters — the obvious discrimination and what's at stake for us — straight couples too, need to stop putting the blame on the women. I think that's one thing that I could at least say, from two men going through this, is I've had some fertility issues and struggles, and I don't think a lot of men openly talk about that," Underwood shares.
“I mean right away, my husband gets his results back for his sperm count and he had incredible, great numbers, and I got mine back and all my sperm was dead. And I think immediately I was just like, 'Oh, what does this mean? It means I'm sterile and can't have kids now.' And it was not a great feeling," he adds.
At first, Underwood couldn't understand why he had tested so poorly, and he admits that the discouraging results were tough on his self-esteem.
"I think one of the reasons why men don't talk about it is it's sort of a blow to the ego. They're just like, 'Why me, I'm an alpha man? How can I not do the most simple task a man can do?' And I very much sort of had that approach going into it," he says. "I was like, 'I'm healthy. I work out every day. I've got this.' And then my doctor gave me my results back and I had four sperm and three of them weren't moving and one of them was not looking great either, so I quite literally had no sperm.”
Caren Prinstill/Randall Hartman/Daddyhood
Because Underwood and his husband felt strongly that they wanted to split the eggs from the egg donor and each make embryos, Underwood was then careful to heed his doctor’s advice to get his sperm count back to a healthy level.
“My doctor did list the most common reasons why sperm count could be low and I was doing literally everything you could possibly do to kill your sperm, which was hot tub and sauna, baths. Exercising more than four or five times a week actually has an adverse effect on sperm. Pelotoning, riding a cycle or a bike," he explains. "And then I was taking synthetic testosterone. I was prescribed testosterone after my days in football and what my body went through. So I was quite literally doing everything you possibly could do to hurt your sperm count.”
Underwood credits his husband for helping him get through the process, as Brown made the same lifestyle changes so that Underwood wouldn’t be doing so alone.
“He did not have to do that with me. He was so supportive and helpful. And over the course of three months I went and got retested and they were trending in the right direction and then [by] six months I got my numbers back up to where I could freeze my sperm," he says.
Charles Sykes/Bravo
With adequate sperm to contribute, the couple could now move on to the next step in the process, which was creating the embryos.
“We're not having the doctor tell us [which embryo is which]. 'They're ours' is the approach we're taking. We're staying away from 'biological, this one's mine, this one's yours,' we're not doing that. It's our family that we're creating and we just really are leaning into just health. Hopefully, we have a healthy child," Underwood says.
And now, while he and Brown await the results of the genetic testing with their surrogate, Underwood is back to his old ways, “in moderation,” he says with a laugh. “It's like anything else in life. Now I've frozen my sperm, and the good news is with being gay, you don't have to really worry about getting somebody pregnant, so I don't have to worry about my sperm health and quality as much anymore, so I'm hot tubbing again.”
Underwood ultimately hopes his podcast, Daddyhood, serves as a resource for both individuals and couples who want to become parents. When he wasn’t sure where to turn for guidance or answers, he created the solution himself.
“I've met with so many experts and lawyers and surrogates and egg donors, and I've had so many incredible guests come on the podcast that I've already learned so much," he says. "So that would be my answer [about where to start] — start a Daddyhood of your own."
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