Since leaving rehab, the Canadian actor — who’s struggled with alcohol and drug abuse — has been staying at a sober living home with eight others
Dean McDermott is taking big steps in order to make progress in his sobriety journey.
The Canadian actor — who has struggled with alcohol and drug abuse for nearly three decades — spoke to the Daily Mail about spending his summer in rehab.
The 56-year-old revealed that after a 40-day stint in rehab, he’s currently staying at a sober living home in Los Angeles, called Harmony Place, with eight other recovering alcoholics. He hopes his time there will allow him to soon make amends with his family, including wife Tori Spelling. The couple split in June.
"All she’s ever done to this day is want me to be happy and healthy,” he said tearfully. “I inflicted a lot of damage and pain on that woman."
“I’m taking accountability for that today and it’s the biggest amends I’m ever going to have to make,” he told the outlet.
McDermott detailed the severity of his addiction and how it impacted his family, admitting that prior to his separation from Spelling, “I wanted to die.”
“My addiction was untreated,” he shared, noting that he had been in and out of Alcoholics Anonymous for nearly 30 years — and that his alcohol use eventually progressed to cocaine. “Through the years, I would just burn everything to the ground. Everything that was good in my life: My career, love, relationships, family. It ended up in isolation.”
McDermott explained that Spelling, 50, tried to get him help over the years, but he isolated himself and by the end of their relationship, the marriage was characterized by “anger and…yelling.”
“It ended up with me drinking a fifth of tequila every night, seven days a week, and a handful of narcos [narcotics] by myself with, you know, a beautiful family in the other room.”
A "fifth" refers to a standard 750-milliliter bottle of alcohol — or approximately 16 shots.
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“That's what it led to and that's what led to the brokenness. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t live that life anymore,” McDermott told the outlet. ”And finally surrendered to the fact that I need help. I wanted to die. I would wake up every morning going, ‘S—, I woke up again.’ And I’ve got six beautiful kids and a beautiful wife and I was pissed off that I woke up again."
The Chopped Canada host said he has accepted the fact that his struggles with addiction made him challenging to live with, taking the blame for what went wrong in his home.
"It's going to be living the rest of my life making amends because I took something that was really beautiful and I just tore it down year after year, day after day," McDermott said.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.
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