Filipino American creator talks about the ‘internalized racism’ when it comes to prejudice against dating Asian men
A Filipino American creator is calling out the alleged internalized racism of some Asian women when it comes to their disinclination to date men of their own race.
On June 27, Darrell Rivera (@dareal08_), a Las Vegas-based dancer and choreographer, spoke candidly on TikTok about why he feels many Asian women do not want to date Asian men.
“The only reason why girls get the most hate is because of the internalized racism,” Rivera says, while criticizing a statement made by Sunny (@sunnysideuptv), an Asian American creator and EMT, while on Egg and Bean podcast (@eggandbeanpodcast). “A lot of Asian girls love coming on this platform and preaching that they love white men, and that they’ll never date an Asian guy. And the thing is, the majority of us guys don’t care.”
According to researcher Wei-Chin Hwang, PhD, a professor of clinical psychology at Claremont McKenna College in Claremont, Calif., via the American Psychological Association, internalized racism, or IR, is defined as “the internalization of bias and oppression toward one’s group,” which is “an especially insidious form of divisive racism that remains largely misunderstood and unaddressed” among Asian Americans.
“IR works by silently fragmenting communities, creating division within groups, decreasing their power, and leading them to fight among themselves in an effort to fit in and not be at the bottom,” Hwang writes. “Consequently, victims of oppression often try to identify with the oppressor by internalizing their problematic worldviews, beliefs, and values, while inferiorizing their own people — often without knowing it.”
Rivera goes on to explain that Asian men take issue most with the fact that some Asian women “bash” on their own race.
“Like there’s a huge difference between having a preference and, like, literally hating on your own kind,” he says, before referencing a TikTok video posted by creator Kaila Yu (@kaila.yu) in February.
“The article points out a common thing that some Asian women say, which is ‘I’m not attracted to Asian men because they look like my brother, uncle, etc.,'” Yu says, referencing a controversial Next Shark article titled ‘Hollywood cured my prejudice against white men,’ published in 2021. “[The] article points out, do you ever see white women or Latina women saying, ‘I can’t date white or Latino men because they look like my brother or father?'”
Yu argues that while you’re entitled to your own dating preferences, you can have them without diminishing the men of your own race.
“All women should be able to date whoever they want, but you can date whoever you want without insulting the men of your own race,” she says. “That ideology hurts our whole community.”
An Asian woman’s supposed preference of dating a white man, or someone outside of their own race, also seems to be prevalent in mainstream media, particularly with television shows or films that follow a female Asian American protagonist. Shows like “The Summer I Turned Pretty,” for instance, depict an Asian American girl falling for a white American boy.
The “Asian girl and white boy love” trope has even manifested as a trend on TikTok. Creators are “admitting” to the fact that they too fall into this racial trope.
‘It’s so true. that’s what it boils down to’
Creators have taken to Rivera’s comments to weigh in on the link between internalized racism and speaking ill of men of your own race.
“Anyone who bashes their own race is the epitome of cringe and insecurity,” @kyledimetri replied.
“Yep bro I’m not an Asian guy but I notice this too,” @jaydenwicab commented.
“it’s so true. that’s what it boils down to,” @dimsum.t wrote.
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