The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Mar. 30-April 5)

The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humor lives on.

Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.

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the women's bathroom at a club is the closest we'll ever get to barbie world

— gen🥂 (@genmxn) April 1, 2024 ">

I hate when people start a meeting with “everyone having a good day?” Yeah Tina, I’m at work, on a Teams meeting, and I’m on camera…doesn’t get better than this.

— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) April 4, 2024 ">

The serving size for cereal should be "until you stop feeling sad".

— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) April 4, 2024 ">

when i was like 5 my best friend’s and my favorite game to play was “mary kate and ashley” which was basically just hanging out like normal but calling each other mary kate and ashley

— kelpy 🍉 (@kelseybuckles) April 3, 2024 ">

rain sound apps (that i used to fall asleep) were forever ruined for me the day i discovered that audio engineers tend to record frying chicken to recreate the sound of rain

— “paula” (@paularambles) April 4, 2024 ">

she looks like they just told her https://t.co/Kcvjwstkbw

— caitie delaney (@caitiedelaney) April 2, 2024 ">

when people say “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” it’s like ok….weird way to admit you’ve never had crème brûlée

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) March 30, 2024 ">

Super wealthy people should not be allowed to be Mets fans - it tricks them into thinking they are victims.

— Eliza Skinner (@elizaskinner) April 4, 2024 ">

fell for another phishing scam at work pic.twitter.com/31P25MOh9M

— oatmeal influencer (@acechhh) April 3, 2024 ">

Beyoncé need to start paying some bills around this mf since she wanna tour so bad WHERE AM I GONE GET THE MONEY FROM HORSE LADY????

— Grip Bayless (@talleyberrybaby) April 4, 2024 ">

{guy pitching Chuck E Cheese} okay so it’s a giant rat and the 8 year olds are gonna gamble

— Brunette Bohemian (@Jane_Doe82) April 1, 2024 ">

murder victims are always described as the kind of person who "lights up a room" so for my own safety i'm going to start darkening every room i enter, just fully commit to a gloomy, ominous presence.

— erin chack (@ErinChack) April 3, 2024 ">

universe: you deserve a break

me: wow thanks

universe: *winks*

me: *tumbles down the stairs*

— eLeni (@eleniZarro) April 4, 2024 ">

Just know, if we are having a conversation, I am thinking about the conjoined twins being married to that one guy and how it all works

— Lazor (@Lazor2828) April 4, 2024 ">

u invest in stocks? u mean ur passenger princessing the economy??

— van haley (@vanhaley_yt) April 4, 2024 ">

Eye doctor: how many hours per day do you spend working at the computer?

Me: one or two

Doctor: that’s great! Most of my clients are at their computers all day

Me: oh, I’m on my computer 14 hours a day. But very few working.

— Ginny Hogan (@ginnyhogan_) April 1, 2024 ">

Not to brag, but I am 100% divorce material.

— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) April 4, 2024 ">

“he is risen! glory be to god” being posted to their instagram stories by the meanest girls you’ve ever met

— maha (@mahaaaay) March 31, 2024 ">

I can't get into anything I have a meeting in 3 hours

— 𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘆 𝘃𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗹𝘆𝗸𝗲 (@im_all_id) April 4, 2024 ">

every single dude who thinks they’re these alpha gurus about women look like thumbs. it seems to be some kind of disease.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) March 31, 2024 ">

how it feels to say “per my last email” pic.twitter.com/AaLyHYHStn

— trish (@ULTRAGLOSS) April 2, 2024 ">

The thing about concealer
Is it’s never going to be what you want & it will always cost $32

— Amelia Ritthaler (@ameliaritt) March 31, 2024 ">

they should invent a man who knows how to get over his first girlfriend

— yap god (@malalaormalaika) April 3, 2024 ">

just a lil something to take the edge off pic.twitter.com/siDwGhw2ZA

— 𝖇𝖊𝖊𝖗 𝖊𝖑𝖋 ☭ 🅃🄷🄴🅈/🅃🄷🄴🄼 (@crustelf) April 3, 2024 ">

There is nothing that makes me question my entire being quite as much as someone casually saying "you're supposed to deep clean [this object/household thing] regularly" and it's something I've never cleaned at more than a surface level, if at all, in my whole life

— Sarah Hollowell 🦝 (@sarahhollowell) April 4, 2024 ">

oh we are so doomed pic.twitter.com/m5BA1jhzWw

— trash jones (@jzux) April 3, 2024 ">

whole foods but i can only afford half foods in this economy.

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) April 1, 2024 ">

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name like you sound hungry as fuck

— laila (@surroundedheads) April 2, 2024 ">

I’m still getting used to being a girlfriend again. Being asked what I want for dinner continues to beat my ass. I don’t know! Perpetual stew?? Primordial soup??

— cinnamon bun (@notsofiacoppola) March 31, 2024 ">

me: I just don't have the mental energy to keep trying to fix you

box of plastic wrap:

— meghan (@deloisivete) April 3, 2024 ">

I hate pending transactions. Please, just take the money.

— AKOSS 🍦 (@Akossxo) April 2, 2024 ">

I got my dog a year ago now and she still feels brand new and amazing and I am so happy to see her every day. Do they make romantic relationships like this?

— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) April 2, 2024 ">

Always a bridesmaid, never a bride is my daily affirmation

— Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould) April 2, 2024 ">

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