The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (Oct. 15-21)
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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*me sitting like a cooked shrimp* why does my back hurt
— limp brittzkit (@Brittymigs) October 18, 2022
COURTESY WARNING: we are ~8 weeks away from Spotify Wrapped so this is your last chance to binge listen to trendy things that won’t embarrass you
— cass city (@HeavenlyGrandpa) October 18, 2022
tbt to when i accidentally booked a non-refundable hotel and i was trying to get exp*dia to cancel it like 2 minutes after booking and they said, “no… but we can change the date” so i asked them to change it to the year 2099 and they just refunded me 😭
— rebecca (@abcdrih) October 19, 2022
when my therapist asks how i’ve been the last two weeks pic.twitter.com/LFaFugVqUO
— kim (@KimmyMonte) October 19, 2022
90% of dog ownership is telling your dog you’re not letting them out because you just let them out and then letting them out
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 16, 2022
Who is going to play Liz Truss on the last 10 seconds of "The Crown?"
— Rohita Kadambi (@RohitaKadambi) October 20, 2022
found this list of potential nicknames for a tall woman. bet they’d all go over really well pic.twitter.com/DiBUTe7sFV
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) October 19, 2022
I like that zillow is like "you were looking at small affordable houses not far from your current neighborhood? what about an 8 million dollar home in the ocean. you know what- we'll just email you 15 times"
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) October 16, 2022
i like my men like i like my coffee. not hot enough to truly hurt me
— trash jones (@jzux) October 16, 2022
therapist: what’s making you anxious
me: …………………….*gestures broadly*— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) October 17, 2022
being an adult is hard but can you imagine having to do math homework again
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) October 19, 2022
I went to the total sweetie pie convention and everyone knew you
— xanax in a cinnabon (ali) (@xanabon) October 16, 2022
bf who drives everywhere 🤝 passenger princess girlfriend who says “COWS” every time she sees them
— Katie Raye ⚡️ (@katierayeee7) October 15, 2022
Ryan Murphy productions are always written like how I would make my Barbies talk to each other
— Jane Dashley (@JaneDashley) October 17, 2022
1939: my husband is going off to war
2022: i am helping my husband choose which jibbitz to put on his crocs— limp brittzkit (@Brittymigs) October 15, 2022
"why does anyone even care about celebrity gossip?"
I just read a headline that said jason sudeikis laid down in front of Olivia wilde's car to stop her from bringing Harry styles a salad with special dressing. I'm just supposed to scroll past that and go on about my day???— sarah ☕ (@sarahthetaurus) October 17, 2022
Okay at this point we are dealing with a multiverse type situation pic.twitter.com/lrx287fj2y
— Nori Reed (@realnorireed) October 19, 2022
john green had to be using some sort of mind control bc why was i convinced “okay? okay.” was the peak of literature at 12
— tia (@cursedhive) October 16, 2022
MY BOYFRIEND ACCIDENTALLY SAID CUNT WRAP SUPREME IN THE TACO BELL DRIVE THROUGH
— spingus (@RATKlNS) October 19, 2022
Spending over $100 for make-believe groceries at Trader Joe’s when you still have to go to another grocery store for real groceries is camp.
— post-hipster runoff altbaguette //// 🪩 (@rinnyriot) October 16, 2022
the 6th love language is being haters together
— poofy princess (@missnonhuman) October 21, 2022
my most deeply held belief is that the only way to purge a song that’s stuck in your head is to get it stuck in someone else’s like the videotape from The Ring
— maura quint (@behindyourback) October 15, 2022
I hate vapes so much you can be having a conversation with someone they’ll blow strawberry shortcake smoke right in your face.
— 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐉𝐈𝐄 © (@boojieshay) October 18, 2022
My gf just told me I sound “like an aristocrat” because I say underarms instead of armpits
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) October 16, 2022
Of course I listen to podcasts. What am I supposed to listen to? My own thoughts? Oh dear god no.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 16, 2022
This article originally appeared on HuffPost and has been updated.