How to get over a break-up: 6 ways you can bounce back

A long-list of high-profile couples have split in 2023, including Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness, Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner, Britney Spears and Sam Asghari, Canadian Prime Minister Justin and Sophie Trudeau, Ariana Grande and Dalton Gomez, Kevin and Christine Costner, and Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn, to name a few.

Locally, there was Singapore social media influencer Wendy Cheng, more popular known as Xiaxue, who announced in April, the end of her 13 years of marriage with her American husband Mike Sayre. They were in a relationship for a total of 17 years.

While there was a 9.9% decline in divorces in 2022 from the preceding year's 7,890 separations, Singapore still witnessed 7,107 marriages dissolved due to divorce or annulment, according to the Department of Statistics.

In 2022, the median age for Singapore males at the time of divorce was 44.4 years, and for females, it was 40.5 years.

The World Population Review found Singapore's divorce rate at 1.70 per 1,000 people. Maldives has the highest divorce rate globally at 5.52 while Sri Lanka has the lowest at 0.15.

There are a myriad of reasons for the dissolution of marriages. This includes infidelity, financial challenges, lack of intimacy, substance abuse, domestic violence, wavering commitment, differing moral or religious perspectives, and the natural drifting apart of partners.

Dealing with a break-up, whether it's from a serious relationship or marriage, is certainly one of life's most difficult challenges.

There’s a lot of emotions to handle, a change in routine and uncertainty about the future, and it can all feel very overwhelming.

Amid this storm, there's a silver lining waiting to be discovered. This is your chance to shine and rediscover your self.

Here's your ultimate guide to surviving a soul-shattering break-up and moving forward into a brighter future.

1. Riding the emotional rollercoaster

Sure, it might seem easier to distract yourself from the pain, but it’s alright to let yourself go through all the emotions – acknowledging them is the first step in processing it all.

It’s natural to feel hurt, angry or lost. Let those tears flow, feel the frustration, and embrace that sense of being adrift. Recognising these emotions is the first step to untangling this emotional knot.

If you feel you may need more help processing, then also seek professional help. Therapy or counselling is a great way to get through complex emotions and heal your wounds.

2. It's your time to shine

This your cue to put "you" in the spotlight. Prioritise self-care and engage in activities that bring you comfort and some joy. Whether this is exercise, meditation or hobbies, or even trying your hand at something new.

This would also be the perfect time to focus on your personal development and growth. Invest in learning or explore opportunities that align with your aspirations.

And you should also seek out family and friends that can help you to nurture yourself.

3. Reflect and grow

Take some time to reflect on the past relationship – consider it a crash course in understanding your "red flags" and the values you cherish. This isn’t about playing the blame game. Focus on the lessons learnt and how you can turn them into personal growth.

4. Set boundaries and establish space

To heal, set some boundaries. Limiting contact with your ex and shaking up your routine can do wonders. Why not rearrange your living space or jet off to a spot that sings to your soul?

5. Find your cheer squad

Don’t hide and isolate yourself. While solitude is good for self-reflection, when it goes on for too long, it can end up hindering the healing process. Balance introspection and social interaction.

This is also where surrounding yourself with the right people is essential. Find your "tribe" – people who will offer you encouragement, patience and a listening ear. This could be friends, family or other groups that will give you the space to share your feelings and provide valuable perspectives.

6. Embrace the unknown

Picture a future beyond this heartache, focusing on your dreams and goals. Be open to new connections when the time is right. Remember, every relationship is a unique chapter in your story.

Healing from a challenging break-up can be a profound and transformative experience. Allow yourself to dive into the emotions, learn from the past and then build resilience.

Remember, give yourself time, be kind, and brace yourself for this exhilarating ride towards self-discovery and growth!

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