Advertisement

I'm 44 and my husband is 78 — 10 years older than my father

Couple posing for photo
The author and her husband.Courtesy of the author
  • I met my now-husband four years ago in a 12-step fellowship.

  • We met in May and his previous wife passed away in June.

  • He is 10 years older than my father and 10 years younger than my grandmother.

I met my husband four years ago when I walked into a 12-step fellowship meeting. He had about a million years in the program, and I was newly recovering. He is something of a legend in our community, but I had no idea who he was. From our first encounter, he was interested in my success.

I met him in May, and his wife of almost 54 years died in June. He and I became friends and developed a deep respect for one another. We attended meetings together and I moved in with him some months later.

My stepchildren are older than me

People of a certain age are a bit obsessed with family lineage, and a topic of conversation when I moved in was who we might have in common. My husband is 10 years older than my father and 10 years younger than my grandmother, so he was sure that he knew someone from my family directly.

I was not prepared for what we gleaned through our discussions. We figured out that my father had dated my husband's cousin at 15. He had been to my current home — part of a kind of family compound — for a family get-together nearly 53 years ago.

In our home, above the dining-room table, senior portraits of my husband's children hang on the wall. His youngest son attended the same high school that I had — he was a senior when I was a freshman. I also have two stepdaughters. One is 56 and the other is 55.

I'm now a step-great-grandmother

All my stepchildren have their own grown children, which immediately made me a step-grandmother. They were not exactly thrilled when I moved in and, later, married their grandfather. We have since become closer than I ever would have expected. Throughout our relationship, I have become a step-great-grandmother four times over.

All these outside factors in addition to functioning through everyday life have been quite an experience. Technology, television, and cuisine are just some of the things we differ on.

My husband has a flip phone. I have shown him the wealth of information that is available with the aid of a smartphone. He is happy to ask me an actor's identity from a rerun of a Western or to have me input the information that can only be submitted online that he wants no part of doing himself.

Speaking of Westerns, our taste in TV programming sometimes differs wildly. While I enjoy a good cowboy drama, I occasionally like to watch a more current sitcom or reality show. He has no tolerance for "Seinfeld" or "The Big Bang Theory." I can catch him off guard when "Lego Masters" comes on and he'll leave the remote alone.

I enjoy ethnic food and home cooking. You will never see him eating Chinese, Mexican, Indian, or any other regional dish. He hates garlic — I won't tell you what he says it smells like. I can use seasoned salt in some things I prepare because he doesn't see me adding it.

Aside from our differences, we are more similar than a person may think. We have the same outrageous sense of humor; he makes me laugh until I cry and beg him to stop talking. We love the same music; I was raised listening to "oldies." We both love to travel and we have similar worldviews.

It's been quite a learning experience, but our relationship works, and I'm the happiest I have ever been.

Read the original article on Business Insider