23 Funny Tweets From The Week Because If We're Living In A Simulation, We Might As Well Enjoy It
Welcome to another week of funny tweets! It's Pride month, which means it's time to resurface one of my favorites:
“Where’s the Pride flag?”“Fuck knows. Just put out the Twister mat.” pic.twitter.com/fJIPZf1Yjf
— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) June 1, 2024
Between Pride, Trump's conviction, and my seasonal depression losing its hold over me, I'm manifesting us all a positive, fun, sweaty, safe, and sexy summer ahead. So, sit back, relax, and let's kick off the start of summer with some funny tweets:
1.
Witnessed something beautiful today: the great Yosemite Cheeto delivery pic.twitter.com/tNnhJkEiML
— Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) May 28, 2024
2.
Yesterday a man approached me as I was leaving the gym and said “ I thought I’d do you a favor by talking to you” …. I told him he been listening to too many podcasts put my headphones back on and went about my day.
— BBL LEX (@gymgirllex) May 29, 2024
3.
BREAKING:Melania spotted after the guilty #verdict.#TrumpTrialThursday pic.twitter.com/nvWCYwzPoi
— Christian Greco (@ChristGrec) May 30, 2024
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images / Via Twitter: @ChristGrec
4.
Spending the day in waiting mode because you have an appointment at 2pm pic.twitter.com/jjKVLkrFnk
— Dr Sean Travers (@seanjetravers) May 28, 2024
Orion Pictures / Via Twitter: @seanjetravers
5.
"Come on bro, sit on me. Just sit on me bro, it'll be normal. I'm just a normal chair bro, please... I need to... feel you" - this chair pic.twitter.com/hqICDn1Qnc
— Theonewhocums (@Theonewhocums_) May 29, 2024
6.
i do not want to save to onedrive. i want to save to the documents folder. on my computer. that i have. in my house.
— richard (@richard_normal) May 31, 2024
7.
Airbnbs are so funny to me because “sleeps 8” could mean 8 people get their own bed or it could mean someone’s gonna have to sleep on top of the refrigerator
— Grip Bayless🤸🏾♀️ (@talleyberrybaby) May 31, 2024
8.
"im bored"book that has been standing on my night table for the last 6 months pic.twitter.com/RmoTVCX6rr
— tay (@hairball1952) May 30, 2024
9.
Just heard a French guy say “c’est banger” , America cultural victory is so real
— Elai (@elaifresh) May 30, 2024
10.
Somewhere out there, a child is free. pic.twitter.com/AfFlzApBKS
— Isaac Fitzgerald (@IsaacFitzgerald) May 31, 2024
11.
my sister is visiting from Oklahoma and her kindergartener growled when he saw us and she said “Oh, sorry, he’s at the age where he’s not a boy he’s a cat.” And we said OH MY GOODNESS, are you a wild cat or a house cat and he was a house cat
— 🌈Dr. Frizzle (@Swilua) May 30, 2024
12.
Made friends w a child at the stingray tank at the aquarium, we were equally apprehensive ab touching the stingrays & then he said “I’ve been here before for school” & I said “wow, is it just like you remember it?” & he pointed to one specific stingray & said “yeah he was here”
— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) May 31, 2024
13.
Jorts got diagnosed with really loving his friends https://t.co/2C6prtAKRp
— unikittycorn (@tamarin) May 31, 2024
14.
my cat when I close a door pic.twitter.com/fTko3P5TKC
— caitlin (@caitalopram) May 30, 2024
@realdonaldtrump / Via Twitter: @caitalopram
15.
Love that CNN has adopted the Dominos pizza tracker format for trial updates pic.twitter.com/eiiFlmJNo2
— Tyler (@BalloonFlavour) May 29, 2024
CNN / Via Twitter: @BalloonFlavour
16.
saying “this is before your time” to the dog whenever a song plays in the car bc he is two years old so it’s almost always true and always funny
— kels (@sweetnormie) June 2, 2024
17.
my buddy told me he was on a plane and they were like “is there a doctor on board” and he was like “im a paramedic” and they were like “no it’s ok we found a DOCTOR” and the doctor was like “uhhh i haven’t examined a patient since med school can we please bring the paramedic”
— Josh Trebach, MD (@jtrebach) May 30, 2024
18.
19.
I be at the function accidentally agreeing w shit bc I can’t hear
— EsteStirredAviation (@estebeanie) June 2, 2024
20.
i got white boy wasted last night and the bouncer wasn't letting me in the club so i recited 40 decimal places of pi to him. he then proceeded to change his mind and let me enter. the truth is i only remembered the first few digits, i made the rest of them up
— rachel calytrix (@rccalytrix) June 2, 2024
21.
22.
I stopped in my tracks pic.twitter.com/DNKt7x2TZZ
— respectful huff (@alexqarbuckle) June 2, 2024
23.
ignored the check engine light on my car for weeks and it went away on its own i won pic.twitter.com/HyEdOqMmXS
— geo (@geodicey) May 31, 2024
Netflix / Via Twitter: @geodicey
That's it for this week! Shoot these creators a follow if they made you laugh, and if you're lookin' for more funny tweets, we've got ya covered:
35 Straight-Up Hilarious Tweets From The Week Because You Deserve A Little Treat
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