Local actor Romeo Tan says he can’t express his emotions freely on social media

He is one of the earliest adopters of social media among local artistes and is rather open about sharing his life on Instagram.

Yet, actor Romeo Tan still tries to be mindful about what he shares in the online space.

Speaking to Yahoo Southeast Asia, on 27 October, in an interview for his new drama "Till The End", Tan shared that posting on social media is “very restrictive”, especially when it’s something emotional.

And that’s because of the propensity of netizens to make assumptions about his life when he does that.

“I did post something last time – maybe a more emotional kind of emo caption – and I have a lot of questions asking ‘Are you okay?’ But their ‘okay’ is, they’re asking me what’s going on, they’re trying to find out what exactly happened,” the 38-year-old recounted about a past instance.

Since he can’t directly talk about the issue, he has to “use another way to express it in my caption” and people made “guesses” about what happened but “that’s actually not the case”.

For Tan, a more thoughtful approach is necessary on today's social media, saying, “So we have to be very careful with what we post. So sometimes when I want to express something, it’s no longer like my teenage days where I can just shout out on my social media and just my close friends will actually know what’s going on.

“Now I have to answer to many people and everyone can just view my profile and one click on my picture, my posts, and they can assume something.”

Although we pointed out he could use the Close Friends feature for his Instagram Stories so he can still share something personal and private to the people he chooses, Tan maintains that he treats the platform like his work and it is “open to the public”.

As for his close friends (from secondary school and polytechnic), Tan connects with them via his personal Facebook account where he posts more personal and sensitive things about his mood and life.

Though Tan might curate his emotions on social media, he acknowledged that what people get on Instagram is “almost like 90 per cent of me”.

“There’s nothing much I hide behind social media,” he said.

Social media journey is like a rollercoaster

Reflecting on his social media journey, Tan said he started on Instagram since it first launched in 2010 and shared that he’s always been interested in technology and computers since young. He was also on platforms like the ICQ and IRC chat rooms, and Friendster (before Facebook was a thing).

He said, “I’ll admit I’m one of the first artistes [in Singapore] to use social media.”

Citing his experience as a “growing process”, Tan explained that he started using social media simply to “share the things I saw” – just like how young people would.

“But as social media gradually expanded, and people magnified many things, I feel that you have to be very careful about social media. The whole journey is like a rollercoaster, with ups and downs,” he added.

Right now, his relationship with social media is still healthy as Tan will post the things he wants, as and when he wants it.

As for any negative comments or feedback, Tan clarified that things are still “okay” as long as he is clear about what content he is posting – for example, if it’s touching on a sensitive topic.

“These are things that I didn’t think much about when I was young,” he said, but it’s different since he’s entered showbiz.

“Of course, as you grow and you see people exercise their freedom of speech on the Internet, all the more you have to be careful. You can’t just say what you want to say just because this is my social media [account]. So I have to be very mindful of this.”

Finding a balance

As much as social media is a part of his work, there are also days where Tan finds it all too much and he wants to disconnect.

So, he does just that when he’s not filming.

He explained, “When I’m not in a production, I don’t feel like posting too much. Because usually when I’m at work, then I have something to post about… When I’m not filming, I kind of hope to have my own space.

“Actually, I just hope to have a balanced life. I hope to have a balanced way of managing social media, work, and my personal life. I don’t wish to put everything on social media. Sometimes I just want to switch off or even go ‘offline’, then I can have a good rest and do the things I want to do… I don’t have to worry what people will say about the things I post on social media or whether I have to reply to something.”

Tan admitted that the longest social media break he has taken is about two weeks and he just didn’t post anything on Instagram Stories. He’s not sure if his fans were aware but shared that he has a Telegram group chat with them so he’ll connect with them over there.

As for maintaining balance to avoid being too engrossed in social media, Tan limits his time browsing through the apps to a maximum of five minutes.

“If you continue browsing, especially those recommended posts, it can just go on and on. So I’ll cut off after a certain time or I just browse through five people’s posts.”

He added, “I also remind myself that I have other things to do aside from looking at my phone. One more thing – I don’t like laying in bed and browsing through the apps the moment I wake up in the morning.

“I feel that this is kind of a habit and I suggest that if people have this habit of looking through social media the moment they wake up, they can try to cut down on it… you might end up browsing for 30 minutes to an hour. That is such a waste of life.”

Don’t get too obsessed over what you see online

When asked about what advice he might have for people about social media, Tan recalled an incident with his nephew where the latter was wondering why his numbers were not growing compared to his uncle’s.

“At age seven or eight, he told me that - I was quite shocked. And I was quite worried,” he said, adding that he tried rationalising to his nephew why, as an actor, his social media numbers were very different.

“But I think at his age, he’s just chasing after the numbers.”

Reiterating what he shared before, Tan urged people to be mindful about what they post and not do “silly things” because what is in the cloud stays forever.

He shared, “The next thing is try to find a balance of materialism and realism. Don't get too obsessed over what you see online. People might be carrying all those branded bags, living a very good life, but that's not you. So you need to take a step back and look at yourself, look at your life, and know where to draw the line.

“And I think lastly will be [to] be yourself on social media. Yeah, you don't have to be somebody, just be yourself.”

Romeo Tan is in the new drama Till The End, available on meWATCH and airing weekdays 9pm on Channel 8. It premieres today (30 Oct).

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