Move aside sugar daddies, 2024 is about Stevia daddies

In our sugar-conscious world, a new and unique figure in the dating scene has emerged, redefining the traditional idea of a "sugar daddy": the Stevia daddy.

A playful spin on the sugar daddy trope, it revolves around showering someone with gifts and experiences but with a "health-conscious" twist. Instead of lavish dinners at Michelin-starred restaurants and expensive jewellery, Stevia daddies opt for shopping sprees at fast fashion outlets, and meals at alternative joints.

In some parts of the world, Stevia daddies are also known as Splenda or Equal daddies. Essentially, they’re named after sugar alternatives, offering a different approach to relationships.

Redefining relationship dynamics

Unlike sugar daddies, Stevia daddies are slightly more accessible, budget-conscious, and might have different objectives. While sugar daddies might look for short-term arrangements, Stevia daddies might be after long-term and sustainable connections. They may also stick to one partner at a time.

"I'm not here to shower someone with extravagance," says *JJ, 40, a Stevia daddy who works as a financial planner at a private bank in Singapore.

Disliking like the term, he embraces the role of a provider, seeking genuine connection.

"I'm looking for a genuine connection with someone who shares my values, like enjoying the outdoors, cooking together, and supporting each other."

Journey into the Stevia daddy lifestyle

JJ's journey into this lifestyle stemmed when his former girlfriend expressed a desire to be take care of.

Influenced by her expectations rooted in her parental model, he adapted to meet similar aspirations expressed by women on dating apps and platforms.

“My ex was constantly talking about how her father provided everything for her mother, and because of that, she expected the same treatment,” he explained. “When I was on dating apps, girls would also tell me they wanted someone to take care and provide for them. So I felt that the only way I could even be successful in dating these girls was to adapt to what they wanted.”

“I think it’s quite common in Asian societies for the man to provide everything in the household, so in some ways, I feel I’m just doing my ‘job’ as a provider,” adds JJ about how this societal norm influenced his decision to become a Stevia daddy.

Sweetness without the sugar crash

As a financial advisor, JJ earns a comfortable income but isn’t quite a multi-millionaire yet.

“I’m not sure if I want to be a full-on sugar daddy. Right now, I make enough for myself to support the girl I’m seeing, but I don’t think I could go beyond giving her $7,000 a month,” he shares.

Besides paying for dinners, dates, and her rent, JJ also gives his partner monthly allowances.

“My partner’s working but she’s not earning as much as me so she uses the money I give her for shopping and other parts of her life,” says JJ, who met his partner, who is 23, on a dating app.

Their arrangement began when his partner revealed she wasn’t making enough to support herself and wanted to move out of her family home. In return, she offers companionship and intimacy, content with JJ's modest support.

“She came from a difficult home, and I wanted to support her because I felt I could,” JJ reveals. “It works for me because she’s quite low-maintenance. We don’t live together and I’m not expected to do more than just provide.”

The couple, who began dating in early 2023, have no current plans for the future.

"It’s too early to decide if she’s the person I want to be with for the rest of my life, but for now, I’m grateful for our relationship, and glad she’s not like conventional sugar babies who might think our arrangement is something purely transactional,” JJ said.

Asked if he would consider lowering her allowance so he could date other sugar babies, JJ insists he enjoys the freedom and familiarity he has with his current partner, and wouldn’t want to trade it with something unknown.

“I’ve spoken to other babies on apps who seem much more demanding. For them, it’s all about money, and I’ve come across a few who seem extremely entitled. They see every daddy as a means to an end and forget that it’s also about building a relationship,” he explains.

Sugaring in secret

According to JJ, part of the reason his arrangement with his partner works is because they keep their relationship private, shielding it from external scrutiny. He’s deduced that the lack of input and judgment from others has allowed them to flourish.

“She doesn’t have any other friends with similar arrangements and because she’s not close to her family, they’re not asking her where she’s going and how she’s spending her time either.”

JJ, too, avoids telling his friends about his partner.

“They know I’m seeing someone but I don’t tell them the details,” he adds.

As a financial advisor, it’s also common for JJ to meet clients so, it’s easy to dismiss his partner as a client, even if he were to bump into someone he knew outside.

“I’m not embarrassed by my partner. It’s just that without interference from other people, we’re likely to remain happier,” JJ feels.

Is the budget daddy worth it?

In 2020, Sugarbook, a popular sugaring site, revealed that sugar baby sign-ups in Singapore increased following the rise in university fees. With GST and inflation rates increasing in 2024, it won’t be surprising if more people sign up for the platform. However, being a Stevia daddy or a sugar daddy isn’t always as sweet as it sounds.

JJ highlights the effort needed to make the relationship enjoyable, emphasising the importance of giving to receive.

“There’s still some effort to make the relationship fun. Even if it doesn’t require a lot of commitment, you still need to give something in return for the relationship to move forward. Otherwise, it’s going to be really boring and you’ll wonder why you’re even doing this,” he says.

It’s also difficult to find suitable partners who share your values and appreciate your approach can also be a challenge. Stepping outside the conventional dating box can be difficult. Planning dates within the budget and emphasising experiences over extravagant gestures might not appeal to everyone.

There’s also a concern that the sugar baby might leave for someone wealthier.

“There are times I’m concerned that my partner wants to leave me because other much richer sugar daddies could give her a better life perhaps,” admits JJ. “If she does leave for someone else, I might just look for other women to date or I’ll be single for a while.”

The Stevia daddy's rewarding journey

Despite these hurdles, JJ finds being a Stevia daddy can be incredibly rewarding.

It offers the opportunity to build genuine connections based on shared values and experiences, leading to a more fulfilling and sustainable relationship. At the same time, it fulfils his and her needs.

In the world of Stevia daddies, love and happiness aren’t always about extravagant displays of wealth, but rather genuine affection, shared passions, and a willingness to create something special together.

(*Names have been changed on request)

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