My first job felt like a real-life 'Mean Girls' movie: How I endured a toxic workplace

*Rose, 32, shares about the time she had gone through a tough time in her toxic workplace, as told to Yahoo Southeast Asia. Names have been changed upon request.

In 2013, I landed my dream job as a writer in a publishing company. Fresh out of university, I was ready to take on the world and prove that I had all the skills required to excel in my role.

Little did I know that my first job would turn out to be a complete disaster, and I would experience the bitter taste of a toxic workplace.

As per my understanding, a toxic workplace is one where the relationships between bosses and colleagues are strained. In such a setting, bosses do not appreciate your hard work, talk down to you, and show favouritism. The colleagues are prone to backstabbing, and you cannot trust anyone.

That's what I went through during my "Mean Girls" era, and it all started with my boss Sam (not his real name), who was like Regina George from the iconic teen movie.

Initially, I had a good impression of Sam, who seemed nice and chill. However, I soon discovered the traits that made him horrible in my eyes.

Sam was a diva who would not do his work and instead delegated it to his posse, which included his friends whom he had hired. As a result, his favourites would have an easy time, and those who were not would end up with more workload.

Sam's mood swings were unpredictable, and he could be nice one day and then turn around and shout at me the next. His posse was mainly his friends, and there was no way I could win him over when I had to compete with them.

As a result, my anxiety levels were always high, and the negativity at the workplace was overwhelming. Even when I submitted my stories, there was always a high-ranking editor who would criticise my work even when they had not edited much.

Navigating office politics, favouritism, and mean bosses

One instance that stood out was when we had a huge deadline that was supposed to be due in two days. Instead of making his team focus on the deadline, Sam made us go to a holiday party, where many of his favourite staff got drunk and could not focus.

Some of us, like myself, had to return to the office in the wee hours to complete the work to meet the deadline. Sam then took the credit for our hard work, which made me question whether the workplace was toxic and if I was stuck in a place where my boss did not value my work.

I tried several strategies to cope, including cutting short conversations with Sam, focusing on my work, and not socialising as much to avoid saying the wrong things. I felt that it was imperative to avoid being seen and not being put down. However, everything made me restless, and I wasn't able to sleep well for a few months. The excitement of having a good first job was gone, and I was stuck in a toxic workplace, which made me dread going to work every day.

The arrival of a particular freelance editor, Jenny (not her real name), was the last straw. I learned that Jenny was hired because Sam was friends with her. However, for some reason, Jenny hated me from day one. She condemned my work every day, which made my anxiety levels shoot through the roof.

I felt claustrophobic and that everything was a blur. Jenny even convinced Sam that I was an issue, and he started picking on me too, which further eroded my confidence. Just imagine hearing comments such as "horrible writing" frequently.

As they say in "Mean Girls", the workplace was a Regina George in disguise. Sam was like the Regina of the office, always picking favourites and making sure they got ahead. And just like the Plastics, his posse could do no wrong in his eyes.

I felt like Cady Heron (the character portrayed by Lindsay Lohan), trying to navigate the tricky waters of office politics and not get on anyone's bad side. But just like in the movie, things quickly spiralled out of control.

Jenny, the freelance editor, was like Gretchen Wieners (the character portrayed by Lacey Chabert), always trying to sabotage me and make me feel like I didn't belong.

I felt like I was on the verge of a full-blown Burn Book moment. And just like in the movie, it was time to cut ties with the toxic group and find a better place to belong.

Breaking free from the toxicity

And after a lot of soul-searching, I finally had enough. I wasn't going to subject myself to this torture because it was my first job. I was not a loser for quitting after a year. I just had to stop making excuses for their behaviour and accept that the workplace was a mess.

So I left the job after a year of being there and blocked my ex-boss's social media accounts. After that, I was grateful that I landed a job in a less toxic organisation.

And that's basically the story of how I survived a toxic workplace. I still occasionally have nightmares about my ex-boss, but now I wake up with a smile on my face knowing that I never have to deal with them again.

I am grateful for that experience, though, because without it, I wouldn't have appreciated what a great workplace is. So cheers to my first job for teaching me what to avoid and to my current job for being everything I've ever wanted in a workplace, minus the unlimited free snacks (I'm still working on that one).

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