My partner and I are financially unstable, but we still want kids. We can't decide if we should go for it anyway.

• My partner and I are financially unstable; I am a freelance writer, and he works a blue-collar job.

• At this point, we wouldn't be able to provide our future children with the stable upbringing we had.

• Our goal is to improve our financial situation before my fertility window closes.

My partner and I want kids — badly. We are both in our 30s, so it's the perfect time, but we have one big problem: We are financially unstable.

I am a freelance writer, and he works a blue-collar logistics job. We both make under the American minimum wage. I know it would be difficult to raise and support a baby under these financial circumstances, but time is running out for me as I get older.

We can't decide whether to go for it anyway or race the clock between fertility and financial stability.

My partner and I are struggling financially

My partner and I were both raised middle class. Our childhoods included living in a nice home where the father was the breadwinner, and the mother stayed home to raise the children. Family vacations happened often, and education costs were never a problem. It seemed as if there were no issues with money. My partner and I both held this vision for raising our own family.

However, we are hardly bordering on lower middle class. I'm transitioning to fully freelance, and he works in a blue-collar job. My income depends on my ability to sell myself and my words. Meanwhile, he is always looking into the eyes of layoffs in an unstable economy and a dwindling industry. This year, his company has halved the number of its clients. In response, their team was also halved.

Thankfully, neither of us is paying off any debt, and we are both currently employed. But we haven't exactly mastered the ability to save or successfully increase our income. We question whether we could raise a family on our combined monthly incomes.

At this point, we wouldn't be able to provide for our future children

We've done the math. Housing, food, childcare, education, transportation, and healthcare are all vital when raising children. These are the bare bones, the scaffolding of what it takes to keep a child alive and educated. That doesn't include the little luxuries my partner and I both grew up with that we want to share with our future children: themed birthday parties, Sundays spent at the movie theater, or helping them get through schooling debt-free.

My partner and I feel unable to provide our future children with a sense of stability. We know that what we currently make is nowhere near enough to raise multiple kids. The thought of either of us taking time off work to parent full time, even for a short period of time, is completely off the table.

This insecurity makes us question our capabilities as parents — both as providers and caretakers. We also wonder if the financial stressors will put a strain on our relationship. Will having children only exacerbate this? Is it ethical to bring a child into this world without knowing how you'll be able to provide for it financially?

And yet, we still yearn to raise a family of our own.

Our goal is to improve our financial situation before my fertility window closes

For now, we are seeking out options. We have a few short years before my fertility window begins to close. Unable to afford fertility treatments, we need to make a decision soon. There is the possibility of switching jobs or industries, but we feel behind and incapable of making such a large jump when things already feel dire.

For now, we are discussing what raising a happy and healthy family can look like on a tight budget — whether it's possible to provide a sense of happiness and fulfillment that extends beyond barely being able to afford the bare bones of what it takes to raise children.

My partner is clear that we don't need much to be happy, while I'm nervous that the financial stressors will cause stress for our relationship and, ultimately, for our family.

We hope to improve our financial situation in the short window of my fertility. But in the back of my mind, I know this might not be feasible.

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