Reflections on a life lived

In recent times, my attendance at various wakes has drawn my attention to a recurring theme – the sincere praises and tributes generously bestowed upon the departed souls.

It appears to be a shared sentiment: “They were good, their lives well-lived, and they left us too soon.” The voices of family and friends, laden with emotion, often carry the weight of regret for not spending enough time with the dearly departed.

This observation prompted me to consider if I could respond proactively to what I anticipate my friends might say about me at my wake. Simultaneously, I pondered the opportunity to express my own thoughts during this occasion – a chance to have a say at my final farewell while still physically able to do so.

With this in mind, I’ve produced a video titled “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.” This video, a nostalgic journey through cherished moments with family, friends, colleagues, and loved ones, will be played after a dear one reads my farewell speech.

The reading of my prepared statement/speech will be my way of having a last conversation, sharing a final goodbye with all who have been a part of my life.

Dear friends, family, and all gathered here today, as you watch this video, know that I am not gone, but simply resting, like the lion that sleeps tonight. I have always believed in the power of connections and the legacy we leave behind. So, before you dive into the memories I’ve shared in this video, let me express a few thoughts from my heart.

I humbly seek your forgiveness and understanding. I acknowledge my imperfections, the times I may have hurt others, and the mistakes I’ve made. I’m human, far from perfect, and I hope you’ll remember me as someone who tried to learn and grow from each experience.

My life has been a series of blessings, a collection of memories that make me feel truly fortunate. I believe in reaping what I’ve sown, and it brings me immense joy to say that I’ve fulfilled nearly all the dreams on my bucket list. I am profoundly thankful for this life I’ve lived.

Behind these achievements are the hands and hearts that shaped me. This journey was made possible by the individuals who made me what I am today. My late parents, Tara Singh and Ram Kaur, have imprinted on me lessons of resilience and kindness.

My family – (wife) Rina, (children) Cheryl, Dillon, and (son-in-law) Chris –have been my pillars, and my grandchildren, Hannah and Nathan, have brought a special kind of joy that words cannot capture.

Not to forget, my nine close-knit siblings (the late Lady Joe, Didi, Jaib, Heera, Harban, Usha, Kulwant, Inderjit, and Sarjit) who have truly enriched my life. I couldn’t be any prouder to be associated with them.

My journey has also been boosted by friendships that have added depth and excitement to my life. From the camaraderie at the Long Bar at the Royal Selangor Club to the shared laughter with my Hash buddies and the passion for nature’s beauty through ‘Friends of Bukit Kiara’, each connection has left an indelible mark on my heart.

Colleagues at Transparency International Malaysia, Women’s Institute of Management, and the Heart Foundation of Malaysia have been more than like-minded friends; they’ve been associates in making a difference to other people’s lives and creating positive change.

And the incredible individuals I met through the ‘SeniorsAloud’ and ‘Happy Healthy Group’ ably led by Lily Fu and LT Lim respectively have shown me the true art of embracing life in all its phases. Yes, all of you have been a significant part of my story.

Allow me to share some wisdom life has bestowed upon me:

Changing traditional behaviour – Give timely praise and recognition
Instead of waiting until your good friend has passed away to express appreciation, we should actively voice out the good things and their good deeds while they are still alive. Waiting for the sombre atmosphere of a wake to express admiration and gratitude can be too late.

Say all the wonderful things about a person while they are alive and deserving of praise. Whether it’s acknowledging their generosity, kindness, friendliness, or their dedicated service to the community, offering due credit in the moment can serve as a powerful motivator.

No need to wait for special occasions
Expressing gratitude and admiration for someone’s qualities or deeds doesn’t have to be reserved for special occasions like birthdays or Mother’s/Father’s Day. The call is to recognise that now is the right time to voice appreciation and admiration.

Give more than you receive
Adopt a mindset of giving more than receiving. It’s a call to generosity and selflessness. Don’t ‘die rich’ by continuing to accumulate wealth – but live a ‘rich’ life. All of the money in the bank is not yours if you do not spend it.

Safeguard green spaces as though your life depended on it
This involves an ongoing dedication to protecting our beloved natural open spaces from the encroachment of development and greed. I did this as the co-founder of ‘Friends of Bukit Kiara’. The commitment is made to safeguard green spaces, and needs to be instilled in all of us, including our children, for the benefit of future generations.

Thank you for being a part of my life’s journey. It’s time for my final goodbye.

The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the writer and do not necessarily represent that of Twentytwo13.

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