Rylan Clark opens up about mental health struggles after divorce
Note: The following article contains discussion of themes including suicide.
Rylan Clark has opened up about his mental health struggles following the breakdown of his marriage to Dan Neal.
Appearing on Matt Willis' On The Mend podcast, Rylan candidly detailed the downward spiral he found himself on following the divorce, which led to him being admitted to hospital.
"I can't remember what made me disappear basically from the person I knew," he told Willis. "But the next thing I knew I could not see, hear, eat, breathe, sleep – I couldn't do anything.
"There was no signs of me having a breakdown, there was no signs of – like if you're having a heart attack, you'll get the pains in your arm… you know something's about to happen even if it's seconds before.
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"I didn't have the seconds, I just had the impact basically. The baseball bat round the face I call it. And yeah, I got very ill."
Rylan went on to reveal that he got to the point where he couldn't eat or get dressed and ended up trying to take his own life more than once.
"I just remember going to sleep at night after doing nothing all day, living at my mums, frightened to leave the house, didn't want anyone to see me – and I think that's the fame side of stuff," he said.
"I would pray that I wouldn't wake up because then it wouldn't be my fault. Does that make sense? Every morning I'd wake up and there's that three seconds of forgetfulness where you think it's a dream, or you don't think it's real and then you remember, and that's it for the rest of the day."
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Rylan described himself as being like a "toddler" as he eased himself back into doing small things such as making a cup of tea.
Looking back on the time Rylan described the end of his marriage as "the catalyst" for his mental health struggles but added that his problems stemmed from years of working non-stop.
Rylan added: "I think my marriage ending was the catalyst for the machine stopping. But actually, it was nine years of never stopping and never having time to breathe and actually understand what happened to me. For five months I just stopped and shut down. I tried to take my own life. I tried to do it twice."
Since, Rylan is now easing himself into new TV projects, recently announcing that he is teaming up with Rob Rinder for a new BBC show where they'll tour across Europe. Rob and Rylan's Grand Tour will see the pair replicate the 'Grand Tour' taken across Europe by British aristocrats such as Lord Byron when they turned 21.
We encourage anyone who identifies with the topics raised in this article to reach out. Information about how to access support is available via the NHS, and organisations who can offer help include Samaritans on 116 123 or Mind on 0300 123 3393.
Readers in the US are encouraged to visit mentalhealth.gov or the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
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