How this tiny Malaysian island – and its divine cuisine – helped me connect with my teenage daughter

I’ve just finished putting together a soup we learnt to make on our trip to Pangkor Laut. I’m thrilled to have learnt how to make Malaysian chicken curry without using curry powder. Who would have known? Fresh turmeric, ginger, cumin, shallots, lemon grass, star anise and some cayenne pepper (and always chicken stock instead of water) form the base for many a dish (no pre-ground curry powder needed).

But this island, iridescent in the South China Sea, offered more than just a kitchen for me to cook.

I had taken advantage of the fact that my daughter Gracie, just 18, still wanted to spend time with me on holiday, for some sea, sand, and also a bit of added spice in the kitchen, where we learnt to cook, Malay-style. I hasten to add that being stuck in the kitchen was a total pleasure, as for the rest of my time I have been spoilt by treats that were far better cooked by others.

It started well. Turkish Airlines was a new experience for me – chefs with hats and aprons, prompting Gracie to remark: “Best plane food I’ve ever had.” We were most impressed that all the juices were freshly squeezed, with even a detox option.

We made our connection at Istanbul and eventually landed in Kuala Lumpur. A new one for me was seeing the automatic suitcases that people sat on and whizzed along, making us feel like we had fallen into an episode of Black Mirror. All very postmodern and futuristic.

Gracie said: “If someone AI generated me here, I would have no idea where I was.”

I think she meant it as a compliment, and I replied: “You mean if someone ‘beam me up Scottie-d you?’”

“What and who is that?”

Yup, it’s a generational thing.

But I was excited to say goodbye to this oh-so-modern neon airport world, and say hello to lush tropical forests, sandy beaches, crystal-clear waters and jungle tours. This is what awaited us on the private island resort of Pangkor Laut.

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As we stopped over at the colonial-style Majestic Hotel (to break the journey), I signed the guestbook and noticed that a certain Mr D Beckham had previously written in it. Then we were on our way by car through groves of palm-oil trees on the public highway.

It was then that we had our “James Bond” moment as we were taken by speedboat to what was to be our home away from home. A quick five-minute ride in a buggy took us to the other side of the island to be greeted by the oh-so-lovely staff.

Estate One (there are nine) is essentially a villa with its own garden and two double bedrooms. We had a private pool and a gorgeous outdoor eating area with the most incredible view.

Emerald Bay, the principal beach, is the island’s offering of perfect peace. Yet this would have to wait, since our chosen itinerary sent us to the spa. Arriving at this oasis of calm, we let go of the final stresses of our journey listening to the sound of running water from a delicate and elegant fountain, contentedly watching koi carp swim around a pool while we waited for our therapist. The rich, dense, shiny wood enveloped us and matched perfectly with signature print materials and the scents curated for the spa.

I can honestly say it was some of the best reflexology I have ever had, and the “Malay massage” is the perfect way to let the tension of the world evaporate into the sea. It’s something we won’t forget.

As we went into chill mode, the expression I heard most frequently from Gracie was “deep dive”. I soon realised I should be doing some of that myself. Into what should I dive? Meditation. Aligned with circadian rhythms, staying phoneless, and with a good selection of audios and podcasts, we decided that this trip was the perfect place to drift into other worlds. Top of my list that week were the This American Life and Pandolly podcasts, and Michael Singer’s Untethered Soul.

We became dawn voyagers, and naturally woke at 5am, then happily waited for the sun to rise at a respectable 7am. There was only one night when we were not in bed before 9pm, but the bar and many restaurants offer options for those wanting to party. The beauty of Pangkor Laut is that you don’t feel judged either way. It’s a relaxed mix of families, couples and solo travellers. The only pressure is to do what you want, and the next seven days pretty much concentrated on that.

We enjoyed treats galore, such as poolside baby coconut water and the best fresh mango either of us had ever tasted. We swam at Emerald Bay’s beach, as well as at the adults-only spa pool and the more family-oriented infinity adventure. The sea, I noticed, is green rather than blue, reflecting the magnificent jungle that canopies over the bay.

We made a few new friends. A highlight was talking to baby macaque monkeys; they are everywhere and have mastered the art of pilfering anything that is not nailed down.

We had fresh watermelon juice while being perused by a hornbill. These dinosaur-like birds are critically endangered, a sacred figure, and a harbinger of good luck.

During our last trip together to the island, our good luck was the rare arrival of a whale shark that swam gently beside us for several minutes. This mother-daughter bonding in paradise is truly precious, from learning about turtle protection and going on jungle walks to just taking in the magnificent tropical trees and their canopies.

Pangkor was a perfect antidote to the rush of time, by making us stop and pause. Since this trip, I am even more determined to spend as much time as possible with my daughter in remote places that don’t require us to think about a world that is governed by an ever-growing, all-consuming reliance on technology – and instead allow us to concentrate on our beautiful natural world.

Anna and Gracie were staying as guests of Pangkor Laut Resort.