Tom Cruise snubbed Oscars but dined with Denise Welch who had him in hysterics over ‘dirty’ joke

Tom Cruise skipping the Oscars to watch Denise Welch perform stand up was not on anyone’s 2023 bingo card.

The Loose Women star left the Hollywood legends in hysterics at the private dinner

Denise Welch left Tom Cruise in hysterics at Sir Michael Caine’s intimate   90th birthday dinner.

On Tuesday evening, Cruise, who snubbed Sunday’s Oscars, rocked up at a private bash at London’s River Cafe, to celebrate Caine turning the milestone age.

At one point during the event,  Welch, who is a close pal of the legendary actor, stood up to give a speech.

Sir Michael and pal Tom Cruise in hysterics over Welch’s ‘dirty joke’ on Tuesday night (Denise Welch/Instagram)
Sir Michael and pal Tom Cruise in hysterics over Welch’s ‘dirty joke’ on Tuesday night (Denise Welch/Instagram)

The Loose Women star shared a humorous expletive-filled joke poking fun at Caine, which had the small gathering, which also included David Walliams, howling with laughter.

She’d said: "Only the other morning, [Michael’s wife] Shakira said she heard a scream from downstairs.

"It was Michael shouting ‘Shakira look, there’s a parcel, my Olympic condoms have come.’

"He said, ‘I’m going to wear the gold ones tonight’, and she said, ‘Why not wear the silver and c*m f***ing second for a change’."

Mission Impossible Cruise was so tickled, that he seemed to be about to use his napkin to dab what appeared to be tears of laughter.

David Walliams (Centre) poses with Caine and Cruise at the birthday bash (instagram @davidwalliams)
David Walliams (Centre) poses with Caine and Cruise at the birthday bash (instagram @davidwalliams)

Welch posted the video of the moment, filmed by Welch’s husband Lincoln Townley, who could be heard telling another party-goer, ‘I live with her’, to her Instagram page.

She captioned it: "Such an honour to be asked by Shakira to say a few words at Sir Michael Caines’ 90th birthday!!!

"He loves a dirty joke and so does @tomcruise it appears!!!! Great night and amazing company."

Welch’s fans loved the clip and took to her comment section to share their delight.

One said: “No way is that Tom Cruise & Michael Caine.... just fainted, I can’t imagine being at the same table as Hollywood Royalty.” A third added: “Totally bizarrely hilarious.”

The Loose Women’s artist husband Lincoln Townley (L) introduced her to Sir Michael in 2016 (Getty Images)
The Loose Women’s artist husband Lincoln Townley (L) introduced her to Sir Michael in 2016 (Getty Images)

Welch also shared a snap of herself with her arms around Caine’s neck at the dinner and wrote: "Happy 90th birthday Michael Caine!!! We love you."

The pair was introduced by her husband after the artist painted the movie icon’s portrait in 2016.

Michael Caine - In pictures

Michael Caine (PA)
Michael Caine (PA)
Zulu (193) (Handout)
Zulu (193) (Handout)
Shirley Bassey, Michael Caine and Anglo-Hungarian fashion designer Edina Ronay laugh together while sitting at a table at The Pickwick Club, London, UK, 4th April 1964 (Getty Images)
Shirley Bassey, Michael Caine and Anglo-Hungarian fashion designer Edina Ronay laugh together while sitting at a table at The Pickwick Club, London, UK, 4th April 1964 (Getty Images)
Michael Caine, star of the film 'Alfie', surrounded by women promoting the film with their trousers, during the Cannes Film Festival, where the film is the British entry, 10th May 196 (Getty Images)
Michael Caine, star of the film 'Alfie', surrounded by women promoting the film with their trousers, during the Cannes Film Festival, where the film is the British entry, 10th May 196 (Getty Images)
(Invision/AP)
(Invision/AP)
Michael Caine and singer Diana Ross at a party held by the Duke and Duchess of Bedford, in honor of Diana and the Supremes, London, January 29th 1968 (Getty Images)
Michael Caine and singer Diana Ross at a party held by the Duke and Duchess of Bedford, in honor of Diana and the Supremes, London, January 29th 1968 (Getty Images)
Candid Cain (1969) (ITV/Rex)
Candid Cain (1969) (ITV/Rex)

Back in July, she spoke about her close friendship with the actor. "Michael is a complete legend," she told MailOnline. "I was very nervous of him when I first met him, he’s a huge fan of my husband’s work.

"I became very good friends with Shakira with his wife. We see them as regularly as possible and I adore him... We don’t seem to make movie stars like that anymore. He’s just a legendary actor and he’s just wonderful."