Singaporean photographer struggles with single-fatherhood
When his wife left him and his four children behind, Wayne Toh, 38, was so heartbroken that he almost committed suicide.
“When standing near the window, I’d feel like jumping down. Or when the kids were sleeping, I’d feel like turning on the gas,” the photography teacher said in an interview with Yahoo! Singapore in his Chua Chu Kang flat.
According to him, his 33-year-old wife left the family in 2010 because she wanted “freedom” and had done so soon after they launched their photography business – they gave photography lessons to primary school students.
He was then forced to handle both the business and his four children – Seth, 13, Ethel, 11, Tertius, 9, and Elliot, 7 – by himself.
Struggles post-divorce
It was difficult to move on from his wife’s departure as Toh struggled with heartbreak. Work was difficult too as he had run his courses single-handedly after his wife left.
His emotions and the stress of coping with everything resulted in “crazy moments”, he said. He would vent his frustrations on his children and at times, locked himself up in his bedroom to cry.
Seth, a theatre student in the School of the Arts (SOTA), would take take care of his siblings whenever Toh was unavailable. According to Toh, Seth was most affected by the divorce as compared to his siblings because he had spent the most time with his mother.
“I ran away from home twice… I was unstable,” said Seth, who was 10 years old when it happened, and felt like an outcast from his schoolmates who had both parents living together.
In 2012, Toh eventually realised he needed to spend more time with his children and “surround them” with love so they would not react negatively.
“Even though mother walked out, Daddy can still give the kind of attention you need,” he said to his children.
“I’m a hands-on daddy. I bathe them, I put them to sleep everyday and I also do the house chores."
Now, it has been three years since the divorce. Toh feels much “better” these days, and he told Yahoo! Singapore that prayers, his children and his passion for photography helped him move past his struggles.
Watch the video above to hear more from Toh, brought to you by the Singaporean of the Day project.
Wayne's story is brought to you in partnership with the Singaporean of the Day project. For more inspiring stories, visit their page here.
