Tips for couples travelling for the first time

So it’s your first holiday with your wife/partner, and you’re both getting nervous. You’ve never travelled together before – what can you expect? Will the both of you end up quarrelling throughout the trip? Yahoo News Digest editor Nicholas Yong, who has travelled to 15 cities with his wife, gives his take on travelling with your partner. It’s really just like any relationship: respect and consult one another, and everything will be fine.

1. Set a budget before you go
It’s fortunate that my wife and I have one thing in common: we are both penny pinchers, and we’d rather spend on sightseeing than a nice hotel. It won’t do if, for example, you’re fine with a student hostel but your partner prefers a five-star hotel. Or if you want to eat at nice restaurants while she’s fine with street food. So agree on a budget and stick to it – it will spare you a lot of pain and unnecessary arguments.

2. Draw from a common fund
Like many married couples, we have a common fund set aside for groceries and household expenses. We also draw from it when paying for flights, but use our own spending money once we get there. We live and let live when it comes to paying for meals and such, taking turns to pay for each other. Once again, such an approach spares the two of you arguments over what is probably the most common hot button issue for couples: money.

3. Consult each other
In our various holidays, my wife and I always make decisions together, whether it’s about accommodation, flights or sightseeing. Unless your partner is easygoing to an extreme, it’s never a good idea to plan it all out and make the bookings without asking for his or her preferences.

4. Be prepared to compromise
It’s rare to find couples that share exactly the same interests. She may find museums fascinating, while you think that having your teeth removed would be a preferable alternative. My suggestion: set a day aside where you both do exactly what she wants, while the next day can be reserved for your interests.  Depending on the length of the trip, you can both devote equal time to your respective interests.

5. Leave a buffer in your planning
You’ve both taken leave to go on holiday together – naturally, you want to maximize the time together. But it’s not advisable to, for example, book a connecting flight that takes off just 30 minutes after you land.  Just recently, we missed our flight to Yangon because we failed to factor in enough travelling time to the airport - we ended up forking out extra for a replacement flight. So leave sufficient time for going to the airport, subway or cabs rides to various attractions and so on – it will spare you both a lot of stress.

6. Get enough rest and food
It’s a very Singaporean trait: to try and pack as many activities as possible into your holiday.  But my wife and I prefer to take it easy. We like to linger over nice meals and chitchat. And after spending the whole day sightseeing, we are invariably back in the hotel and tucked into bed by 10pm. We’re both not into clubbing, so this ensures we get plenty of rest before we start the next day bright and early.  It’s  really not worth rushing from place to place and tiring yourself out. After all, it’s not much fun to go on a break and come back more exhausted than you were when you started out.

7. Plan your schedule ahead of time
It’s always fun to travel somewhere and take your time to discover the city. But given the demands of work and the limits of your leave days, it’s best to have a detailed schedule of what you plan to do. It also spares you the frustration of sitting around wondering what to do. On our recent trip to Ipoh, we went to the magnificent Gua Tempurung, a massive limestone cave. But because it was a last minute discovery, we didn’t have enough time to explore it thoroughly.

8. Have some me-time for both of you
Yes, the whole purpose of going on holiday is to spend time together.  But when it’s a long holiday, being able to spend some time by yourself is invaluable, whether it’s by taking a walk or even just reading a book. For example, during our month-long holiday to the States in 2013, we ended up having several silly arguments – the consequence of being together 24/7. In retrospect, it would have helped significantly if we had scheduled time apart. Just make sure that this is something the both of you have agreed upon in advance – you don’t want to wander off for hours and leave your partner wondering where you’ve gone.  

9. Recognise what you’re good at, and divide the workload
We have taken two long trips to the States which involved car rentals. I’m hopeless at navigation, while my wife would also admit that I’m the better driver. So I was generally behind the wheel while she guided me with GPS. Not only did this approach play to our respective strengths, it was also safer.  In the same way, let your partner who’s good at finances look for the best travel deals, for example,  while you can suss out what’s worth doing if you’re more savvy with travel research.

10. Be kind to one another
It’s always nice to have a considerate and giving partner. When we travelled to San Diego Comic Con in 2012, my wife was nice enough to put up with all my geeking out. She even slept on the sidewalk with me when we queued overnight for certain panels. So I grit my teeth and accompanied her to the premium outlets for a day of shopping. Even if your partner wants to do something you have absolutely no interest in, it always pays to be kind: he or she will remember it long after the trip.

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