Are you teaching your children the 7 traits needed for success?
All parents want their children to become successful.
It’s no wonder that many parents send their children for all sorts of enrichment and tuition classes, as well as other kinds of extracurricular activities.
All this in the hope that their children will become smarter, more creative, and (eventually) more successful.
But are these parents doing the right thing? What traits actually contribute toward long-term success?
The 7 traits that lead to success
According to psychologist Christopher Peterson, there are seven main traits that lead to life satisfaction and success:
Grit
Self-control
Zest
Social intelligence
Gratitude
Optimism
Curiosity
Interesting list, don’t you think?
Are you an overbearing parent?
Through my work, I’ve interacted with thousands of people, mostly students, young adults and parents.
I’ve worked with lazy students and hardworking students; weak-willed students and determined students; distracted students and focused students; pessimistic students and optimistic students.
I’m fascinated by what causes children to turn out so differently.
Genetics, the physical environment and the child’s family background all play a part. But there’s no doubt that parents are extremely influential in a child’s development.
I notice that, in general, the children who have the greatest number of personal issues to deal with also tend to have parents who are unreasonable, overbearing and annoying.
There’s a clear correlation here.
How to set an example for your children in the 7 areas
Children might think that their parents are “uncool” or old-fashioned, but they still look up to their parents as role models.
As a parent, you have a direct impact on your children’s future.
As such, I’ve come up with some questions for you to ask yourself, which will help you to think about how you can model each of the seven traits for your children more effectively.
The good news is that if you’re able to model these traits, it also means that you’re setting yourself up for enduring success too!
1. Grit
Do you give up easily?
Do you start things but not finish them?
Do you encourage your children for putting in a good effort, or do you only focus on the result?
2. Self-control
Are you disciplined when it comes to your eating habits?
Do you exercise regularly?
Are you addicted to your smartphone or tablet?
Are you living proof of the benefits of self-control?
3. Zest
Are you excited about life?
Are you passionate about your job and your hobbies?
Do you actively seek out new experiences?
4. Social intelligence
Are you a good listener?
Do you continually put yourself in other people’s shoes?
Do you cut people off as they are talking?
Do you play with your phone when you’re talking to other people?
5. Gratitude
Do you regularly tell your children about things you’re thankful for?
Do you consciously think of at least one thing you’re grateful for every day?
Are you a chronic complainer?
6. Optimism
Do you plan events that you can look forward to every week?
Do you intentionally look for the good in other people?
Do you see problems as obstacles or as challenging opportunities?
7. Curiosity
Do you make it a point to learn something new every day?
Do you tell your children about something cool you recently discovered?
Do you emphasize genuine learning over academic performance?
In closing…
If you’re a parent (or a leader in any capacity), I hope you’ll keep this quote in mind: “We teach what we know; we reproduce what we are.”
If you want your children to be successful, it all starts with you. I’m sure you’re up to the challenge!
Daniel Wong is a learning and personal development expert, as well as a certified youth counselor. A sought-after speaker and coach, he is also the best-selling author of "The Happy Student: 5 Steps to Academic Fulfillment and Success". He offers programmes to help students attain exam excellence while also finding happiness and fulfillment, and to empower parents to motivate their unmotivated teenagers. He writes regularly at www.daniel-wong.com. Download his FREE e-books, "The Unhappiness Manifesto: Do You Make These 150 Mistakes In The Pursuit Of Happiness?" and "Singapore Scholarship Guide: The $500,000 Decision". The views expressed are his own.
