BMW X5 M50d review: Tri hard

SINGAPORE - One of the lousier ways to try and impress a non-car person would be to tell them you drive an X5 M50d. Not because it’s an unimpressive car, but because its name makes it sound like some sort of laser printer.

Yet, there’s plenty behind that string of seemingly random letters and numbers.

Presumably you know what a BMW X5 is, so let’s examine this ‘50d’ stuff first. You’d never have guessed it, but it tells you there’s a 3.0-litre diesel hauling this thing around. Why ‘50’ and not ‘30’, then? Probably because it’s got three count’em, three turbochargers, so it doesn’t feel like your average 3.0-litre.

One turbo is enough to act on an engine the say way magic potion acts on Asterix, so the mind reels at what three can do.

Actually the head reels quite a lot too. Put your foot down and the engine fills its lungs, and then lets fly with a surge of acceleration that strains the neck.

No kidding, the big BMW feels unstoppable when you shovel the coals, and the eight-speed auto is alert enough to make sure that you’re always somewhere in the engine’s sweetspot. Admittedly that isn’t hard, because it’s a pretty big spot with gobs of torque just about everywhere.

That it’s gut-wrenchingly fast shouldn’t surprise you, because there’s also an ‘M’ on the car’s tailgate. The letter says a lot by itself, and establishes a link between this X5 and a car built by Lamborghini (BMW’s M1). Or one that was the most successful machine in its era of touring car racing (the first M3). In BMW’s book, it’s a special letter, to put it mildly.

Yet, this isn’t a fully-fledged M model, so apart from the volcanic engine, what it offers is mostly cosmetic. Our test car, you’ll note, came with blacked-out chrome and some dark rims to match, not to mention some fairly business-like scoops in the front bumper.

The interior has its share of ‘M’ goodness too, not least in the form of a three-spoke steering wheel and sporty front seats that feel firmer than the X5 norm.

The M50d feels like a different steer from a regular X5 too, come to think of it. It’s certainly more stable if you launch it into corners, steadfastly refusing to lurch or pitch awkwardly through them.

There’s an enormous amount of grip from the tyres, too, so you can hurtle around bends at an ungodly speed for something so large.

For all the that, the X5 M50d still makes cornering fast feel a bit like work. There’s more fluidity in, say, a Porsche Cayenne, which flows through the esses instead of stomping through them like the BMW.

That said, there’s an awful lot of practicality to the BMW. The cabin is cavern-like, and the fold-up seats in the boot are actually quite habitable even if you’re a grown man. It’s a proper fit for seven adults in there, which makes you wonder what the upcoming X7 must be like.

That diesel engine can be fairly frugal too, even if you spend your days tapping into its torque reserves to hoon about. 10km per litre from something this big and fast? The M50d makes it not only possible, but easy.

So the size and (relatively) low thirst for fuel make it something of an ideal family machine for the uppercrust sort. Indeed, the X5’s only real competition could well be… another X5.

The petrol-driven X5 xDrive50i costs about the same, and while it may not be festooned by the letter ‘M’ all over the place, it’s actually faster in a straight line, needing just five seconds to kick 100km/h in the face.

Still, the M50d isn’t much slower. I mean it takes 0.3 seconds longer to get to 100km/h, and if you can feel the difference you must have a more sensitive bottom that I do (I won’t ask questions).

Still still, it’s doubtful that most customers will notice the diesel car’s more planted behaviour through corners, so maybe the petrol X5 is what you want after all.

Still still still, shouldn’t the letter ‘M’ count for something, even if the M50d isn’t the fastest X5 on sale today? Maybe. Although to be frank about it, today’s M cars feel more off-the-shelf than ever.

All that said, the X5 M50d is at least worth a look if you’re contemplating its petrol sibling, if for nothing else than to feel what three turbos are like.

And even if you think it’s arguable whether the letter ‘M’ still makes it something special, at least it’s something different.

NEED TO KNOW BMW X5 M50d
Engine 2,993cc, tri-turbo straight six
Power 381bhp at 4,400rpm
Torque 740Nm at 2,000 to 3,00rpm
Gearbox 8-speed Steptronic automatic
Top Speed 250km/h (limited)
0-100km/h 5.3 seconds
Fuel efficiency 6.7L/100km (combined)
CO2 177g/km
Price $472,800 with COE
Availability Now