When You Must Lie to Your Girlfriend
You might have come across different relationship experts telling you how you should be honest in a relationship and how it goes a long way in life.
Unfortunately, sometimes, it can also get you punched in the face and dumped in the municipal dustbin as the repercussions of telling her the truth. There are times when you absolutely must lie to your girlfriend.
Lie #1. You have not seen a more beautiful woman than her
Never ever dare to compare a Scarlett Johansson or a Katrina Kaif to the woman you are with. She wins all the time, yes, EVERY TIME. So don’t even take a pause to think when asked how beautiful you think she is. Every Nano-second in the pause is going to cost you dearly.
Lie #2. That dress is stupid, she DOESN’T look fat in that
Don’t even answer this question when asked. Keeping mum or changing the topic remains your best option because no matter what you say is going to backfire. With women, you really can’t be sure about what you meant when you said ____ (insert a sentence). Either trust me or be prepared for a major argument.
Lie #3. Everything she says is right
Ever been in a situation when you were a kid and even when you knew you were right, every one shushed you. Turns out, growing up doesn’t change it either. Only this time, instead of your elders, it's the fairer sex involved. So, do yourself a favor: next time she says "this cushion will look better", just nod. When they are asking for your opinion, they just want you to agree with theirs
Lie #4. You don't care about Logic
I read a quote somewhere, which goes like this: ‘if you are equipped with facts and logic in an argument with a woman, you don’t stand a chance’. Do not use logic in a discussion (or argument) or else be prepared for a string of sentences starting with ‘remember when I…’ bombarded at you. You can’t hide or win– whichever is your goal.
Lie #5. Humor is silly
Don’t try Dilbert or Seinfeld on her. She won’t get the joke. Which will have you explain the joke to her, and it will brutally strangle the pun, leave you with 5-6 strands of hair in your hand. Also, contrary to popular notions, women don’t like cartoons, save 2-3 girly ones. GET THE HINT.
Lie #6. Every answer of yours is true
Imagine a situation where you are doing something and a question is asked about your daily routine or something you did or someplace you went. The situation can go both ways depending on your answer. Remember, this can also play out like an interrogation; if you give even one wrong answer you might be left gasping for breath.
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