Preparing your toddler for the new baby
It's undoubtedly any parent's concern when it comes to timing baby #2 to make his or her entrance. How will your firstborn react to the new baby upon first sight? What will day to day life be like at home afterwards? Most importantly, how do you prepare your child (or children) for new baby's arrival?
It's been said that trying to explain to your toddler that a new baby is about to join your family is akin to explaining to your spouse that you'll be bringing home a second wife/husband, and they will have to not only love that new person, but to also share all their clothes and belongings with. They are to accept this, with no complaints.
Put in that perspective, we can understand why many toddlers are affected by a new sibling. How do we best help them ease into this new-and-improved family?
1) Include them during your pregnancy. Let them feel your bump grow, and the baby kick. Young children intuitively know something is different, regardless of whether you tell them or not, so it's best to tell them up front. You may think that your toddler is too young to understand, but you'd be surprised. My firstborn was only 11 months old when he started rubbing my belly and displaying an interest in it—I was only two months pregnant then and we had not yet announced the news publicly or to him.
2) Read books and talk about it together. There are a plethora of picture books that introduce your child to the concept of a new sibling. Talk about what your family will be like, and what role he/she will play as the older brother or sister. If you've decided on a name, use it when referring to the baby.
3) Prepare a special older brother/sister gift that baby will 'present' to them in the hospital. Think about a toy that your firstborn will love, and wrap it up and place it in the baby's cot. Say that it's baby's present to them, as the newly minted older sibling. Let them open it 'together'.
4) Don't hold the baby when your toddler enters your hospital room for the first time. Instead, leave the baby in their cot, and make sure your toddler gets the FIRST cuddle when he or she enters the room. Tell them how much you've missed them since you've been in the hospital, and let them make the first step in taking their first peek at the baby.
Most of all, remind your toddler that you're so proud that they are a big boy or girl now, but that they are secretly still your baby too. That sneaky little grin back is priceless!
Beverly Burgess has lived in Australia, Shanghai and now Singapore. She is a social media addict, having worked in the online space for seven years at Microsoft and eBay. She then popped out Hunter, 3, and Carter, 1, and now her days are all about Family, Food and Fashion. She blogs at beverlys.net/blog
