Sorry, But I Can't Stop Laughing At These 67 Hilarious Things People Posted On The Internet This Month
May has come to an end, and summer is around the corner. There were so many great jokes on the internet this month, so enjoy some of the best and funniest tweets from this May:
And follow the accounts that made you laugh so your Twitter timeline will be even better!
1.
when I get too high I start picturing the headlines “first person ever to die from weed”
— bemma (@bemdoll) May 19, 2024
2.
i’m not matthew but i think he has some explaining to do pic.twitter.com/dT8mkd9YAw
— syl 🍉 (@claudevonpeegan) May 18, 2024
3.
— Will ✧ (@willnotclap) May 27, 2024
4.
pls take care of urself n ur health bc when the doctors/surgeons of generation X retire y’all will have no choice but to see amputationsbydeja✨ on ig
— 𓂃౨ৎ (@pinkfr1day) May 10, 2024
5.
(at bottomless mimosas with the girls) one of you will betray me
— 🕯️ mel 🕯️ (@meligearsolid) May 22, 2024
6.
“deleting laterrr 🤭” you are 30
— george 🇵🇸 (@_gapc) May 22, 2024
7.
https://t.co/vFjFbPfM0d pic.twitter.com/9i4jTO8Mfz
— Will (@fullmetalhimbo) May 23, 2024
8.
*at my surprise party* “soo you guys like have a groupchat without me??"
— Soup (@soupinthering) May 25, 2024
9.
i thought Doggy style was being loyal to each other. you guys are gross
— shell (@p4dft) May 26, 2024
10.
At work about to scream out..”LORD, NOT MY UNCLE😭” so I can go home..
— Big Choctaw (@Derekalexander_) May 28, 2024
11.
today is 5/11 or as some dudes call it 6’
— vision bored (@visionbored2) May 11, 2024
12.
choose a major you love and you'll never work a day in your life because that field isn't hiring
— 🏎️ (@hyperbolu) May 10, 2024
13.
Ladies do not let a man who takes mirror selfies be mean to you. You talk to him woman to woman
— sluts r us (@godsfavslut0) May 28, 2024
14.
— . (@BrendanDaGawd) May 28, 2024
15.
Yesterday a man approached me as I was leaving the gym and said “ I thought I’d do you a favor by talking to you” …. I told him he been listening to too many podcasts put my headphones back on and went about my day.
— BBL LEX (@gymgirllex) May 29, 2024
16.
Mother’s Day so funny cause your friend could be cussing their mom down for how they traumatized them for weeks then you’ll see them post her with a a caption like ‘my lifeline… I love you like the stars love the moon’
— tt (@_tteja) May 13, 2024
17.
my cousin called me to ask me how to make shrimp scampi pasta. i’m like you need white wine. she’s like “i don’t have wine but i think im gonna use casamigos” i just hung up the phone
— YardieBarbie 🧏🏾♀️ (@dumbfemm) May 30, 2024
18.
Did it hurt? When you blew up the bathroom
— sluts r us (@godsfavslut0) May 20, 2024
19.
Had a new experience tonight: on hour one of a six-hour flight, I got up to use the bathroom and when I came back the guy beside me was wearing my sweatshirt
— Sarah Edwards (@eddy_sarah) May 21, 2024
20.
Night people Morning people when morning when nightpeople are asleep: people are asleep: pic.twitter.com/jGI8yanVtB
— ☔ (@Whotfismick) May 19, 2024
Nickelodeon / Fox / Twitter: @Whotfismick
21.
Sent an email to like 40 people that started “Goo morning,” pic.twitter.com/LAiAMeTQzG
— danny 🫶 (@dannnysworld) May 24, 2024
Nickelodeon / Twitter: @dannnysworld
22.
category is: things i need pic.twitter.com/YGqJII3KQH
— redacted (@aquariusdays) May 22, 2024
23.
— The Notorious J.O.V. (@whotfisjovana) May 24, 2024
MGA / Twitter: @whotfisjovana
24.
Who wants to go to the Four Seasons Orlando? pic.twitter.com/2qskzgdjHh
— Katrina Waters ✨ (@MsKatrinaWaters) May 21, 2024
Paramount+ / Twitter: @MsKatrinaWaters
25.
no grindr, no tinder, no hinge, no bumble, no situationships, no crushes. just fresh air and vibes. pic.twitter.com/ZCJjwN3d6R
— andrea (@ethelorde) May 6, 2024
Fox / Twitter: @ethelorde
26.
Being a baby must be scary, imagine sleeping at home & you wake up at TJMAXX
— That 1 Foo 🎨 🇲🇽 (@xigotsoul) May 9, 2024
27.
do i want mushrooms on my pizza? sure & while you’re at it, take the mold from my shower & spread it all over the crust, you disgusting fuck
— kim (@KimmyMonte) May 22, 2024
28.
How it feels to be a gay guy who doesn’t listen to Chappell Roan pic.twitter.com/qHe8HP8Fth
— Gay Gay Hunsecker (@stockpiledclay) May 25, 2024
Fox / Twitter: @stockpiledclay
29.
pro tip: its okay to invent some memories if you’re trying to get her back. just make shit up pic.twitter.com/ux02MVcuRv
— jean genet besserit (@TW1NKD3STR0YER) May 22, 2024
30.
if someone matches my freak we're going to get banned from chilis
— chris (@citehchris) May 22, 2024
31.
how it feels to see a movie at 10am without someone in ur ear calling you unemployed pic.twitter.com/c3b4ATCg0H
— grace (@gracesftdt) May 22, 2024
Universal Pictures / Twitter: @gracesftdt
32.
“he’s just playing with you” okay??? but out of all people, he’s choosing to play w me! pic.twitter.com/zGRIOquYlE
— ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི₊ ⊹ (@juIiancito) May 29, 2024
NBC / Twitter: @juIiancito
33.
dermatologist described my forehead as “cobblestone texture” …. pic.twitter.com/nEG95muer9
— justin ☀️🤠 (@JayyRayy_) May 20, 2024
Zeus / Twitter: @JayyRayy_
34.
me eating mangoes pic.twitter.com/ACAWrtyQEx
— andie (@twinkdancy) May 23, 2024
Warner Bros . / Twitter: @twinkdancy
35.
I know my cousin did not put this over the bed like a hamster bottle pic.twitter.com/XT4nAUSRuF
— rated 𖤐 (@ihyrated) May 23, 2024
36.
We’re going out to eat downtown tonight. I’ve been researching parking garages in the area for a month
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) May 25, 2024
37.
— 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 posting 👅 (@FreakyPosting) May 26, 2024
38.
how i feel saying "get a job" in an arguement knowing damn well i dont have a job pic.twitter.com/UNzyejJ5o7
— saba 🍡 (@sabreeeeeze) May 19, 2024
Netflix / Twitter: @sabreeeeeze
39.
The name Gus is short for Esophagus
— Kate oh no (@Kateness8) May 26, 2024
40.
old man at the gym just asked me how many sets I have left on my phone pic.twitter.com/WcYklJTUE7
— enzo (@amaybetino) May 28, 2024
Disney / Twitter: @amaybetino
41.
“you feel me?” brother I haven’t felt anything since the scholastic book fair
— peter (@arabatman_) May 28, 2024
42.
working at a nonprofit be like pic.twitter.com/TljWBgsWgA
— her (@horny4hooters) May 28, 2024
43.
big ears are so hot like yes dumbo what that trunk do
— aidan ꨄ︎ (@RottenPlumz) May 1, 2024
44.
hearing the second alarm when i already woke up pic.twitter.com/5cZxHoegZR
— gabo 🅴 (@gaboisaleo) May 20, 2024
tiktok.com / Twitter: @gaboisaleo
45.
you’d think fixing your sleep schedule and getting your shit together would help, but now you’re just awake at 7 am with a lot more time to think about it
— yap god (@malalaormalaika) May 15, 2024
46.
your low follower count and delicate waist excite me
— bella dilaudid (dill-a-ū-dēd) (@sulfidehex) May 11, 2024
47.
— . (@BrendanDaGawd) May 14, 2024
48.
— inho 🥇 (@itto_inho) May 5, 2024
Nickelodeon / Twitter: @itto_inho
49.
told oomf i’m a people pleaser and he said “name three people that are actually pleased with you” pic.twitter.com/YDCCxzT55N
— c h r i s (@mych3micalswift) May 11, 2024
Nickelodeon. / Twitter: @mych3micalswift
50.
babe are you okay? you haven't said that's that me espresso once today..
— mariana (@pastapilled) May 8, 2024
51.
Pushing 40 and can’t host?? Girl move OUT ‼️‼️😭😭😭
— j 💗 (@localbrowntwink) May 13, 2024
52.
may i be the fourth with you or whatever they say pic.twitter.com/Vi1UVEEk1g
— amaya (@himbokisser) May 4, 2024
Warner Bros. / Amazon MGM Studios / Twitter: @himbokisser
53.
Looking at my barber knowing no matter what happens I’ll be unhappy with the result pic.twitter.com/Ja3Xe4nWwM
— Sean Patrick (@sefo22) May 13, 2024
HBO / Twitter: @sefo22
54.
I go to Chipotle get the same shit & my total be different every time 😂
— ✰ 𝓔 (@moniib0) May 1, 2024
55.
When u go to ur friends house & their dog is ugly
— ً (@labyerenth) May 12, 2024
56.
Bf turned over in his sleep and put his arm around me and said “I love you Jason”… my name is Kenny pic.twitter.com/zK9mvDNexr
— woah kenny (@kennybeets) May 13, 2024
Fox / Twitter: @kennybeets
57.
58.
If ur phone is on military time that’s all I need to know abt u to know ur annoying
— Slizzy McGuire (@givebigmamakiss) May 7, 2024
59.
If I was a detective I’d probably be like “come on tellllll meeeee “
— Jack Profound (@godisangryatme) May 8, 2024
60.
Do NOT let me into ur restroom!! Imma google ur prescriptions and find out what’s really goin on
— gjörk (@mixedfruit_) May 12, 2024
61.
sometimes i wish i could just say “ngl i get a big social climber vibe from you” and walk away
— sab (@sickysab) May 10, 2024
62.
lady walked up to me and my bf and said “aweee you’re still in the honeymoon phase… enjoy” pic.twitter.com/RVDggaxFsM
— seb ♡ (@lovesickseba) May 14, 2024
Warner Bros. / Amazon MGM / Twitter: @lovesickseba
63.
The men are rapping about taking ozempic and getting lipo…WE NEED MECHANICS
— Amari Symoné (@MarMarr08) May 4, 2024
64.
i hate when people ask me questions about my future and my job “so what’s ur plan after this?” AFTER THIS??????? pic.twitter.com/bXVwQjpLpX
— grace (@gracesftdt) May 13, 2024
HBO / Twitter: @gracesftdt
65.
"My boyfriend doesn't let me" pic.twitter.com/2MLSLVnl5e
— 𝐇★𝐓𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋👅 (@mainbitchclique) May 10, 2024
Fox / Twitter: @mainbitchclique
66.
I was complaining to a superior about my low wage and how I don’t feel I have any room to grow at my current organization and they deadass suggested I check out the virtual Zoom guided meditation they’re doing for mental health awareness month. pic.twitter.com/LcJxJiuOkp
— carter (@oselate) May 8, 2024
Fox / Twitter: @oselate
67.
digital footprint is a myth invented to stop you from posting bangers
— miss worm (@missuswormy) May 19, 2024
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