Sorry, but this is why we can never solve gender issues in tech

I don’t care how far you lean in. Nothing will ever change if this continues

I am not going to mention names in this opinion piece.

And it’s not because I am concerned about protecting the suspects’ identity. It’s because the statements quoted in this piece continue to rear their ugly heads in almost every startup event I attended, or in every interview I had with female startup founders.

So often I believe it has become the great pink elephant in the room, that it has stepped on our television set, and is up to destroy our couch while we are debating about what to have for dinner.

Also Read: I am guilty of writing sexist ‘women in tech’ headlines

So let us talk about gender issues in tech. These are issue that range from wage gap, glass ceiling, unequal representation, to even sexual harassment.

We have made efforts to solve these issues. We discuss it at various startup events, we create programmes to teach schoolgirls and housewives to code. Public figures are writing books about it.

But all those efforts will be in vain as we continue on doing these two things.

1. We still believe in gender stereotypes

You might be familiar with this statement, which I first read in a book about women leadership in tech business. By that time, I already felt that something is off with this statement, but when I heard it again recently at a tech conference, I turned to whisper to my colleague who was sitting next to me.

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Isn’t it strange, I said, that these people want to solve gender issues in tech by holding on to this outdated mindset that “men are logical while women are emotional”?

Gender stereotype is a myth that we need to stop believing, let alone perpetuate. It divides men, women, and other genders into a range of perceived characteristics that may or may not be true.

Stereotypes are harmful because if you look at all the mistreatment that women in tech have received, many of these begin with stereotypes.

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A CTO at a local startup once talked about the common mistreatment that women developers receive. Upon being given a task, when a woman developer approaches a male colleague with one or two simple questions, what happens next is that the male colleague ends up taking over the assignment from her.

This may seem like an act of generosity, but this gives the woman a bad mark in her performance review. If it continues to happen, it might hamper her prospect for promotion and her career in the long run. All this has started with the stereotype that even when they try, women could never be good in coding. So the men better take over their job.

Also Read: Girls In Tech launches startup competition for women in Indonesia

You might think of stereotypes as an abstract thing that only exists in the mind. But as the great British philosopher Albus Dumbledore puts it, “Why can’t it be real?”

What we can do instead

If you are speaking at a seminar to encourage girls to take on leadership roles, instead of highlighting traditionally feminine traits (that may not even be relevant to ALL women), you can encourage them to discover their genuine strengths and develop their career based on it.

Also Read: Self-learnt developer Nalee Jang wants Korean women to rock tech

That’s because when you tell young girls that women are good leaders because they are ‘emphatic’ and ‘patient’, you might discourage young girls whose strengths may not fit that stereotype of the ‘good female leaders’.

So perhaps we should stop saying that leadership has a gender, because every leadership, be it of a man’s or a woman’s or an other’s, is unique.

2. We don’t think that there is a gender issue

Oh, God. This is just the worst, okay?

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Whenever a female entrepreneur or developer is saying this, I feel the urge to flip a table and scream, “WOW YOU’RE SO LUCKY; TELL ME MORE.”

Phew. Well, maybe not exactly like that, but you get the point.

The statement is problematic, because it stems from plain ignorance. It does not happen to you, so it does not exist? Wow. Talk about privilege.

While their peers are fighting for fair wages and for their harasser to be punished, some ‘lucky’ women decided that these issues only exist in their heads.

Also Read: What it is really like to be a woman in tech

Well, let me tell you ‘lucky’ women something: You were just lucky. You just happened to not experience the horror that your peer is experiencing. You were being spared by good luck; it does not make you a feminist hero or something.

Dismissing gender issues in tech often begins with the idea that women themselves are solely responsible for the problems that they are facing, that they are bringing it to themselves by not doing this or that.

Forget the fact that wage gap has a legal and political implementation; put the blame on the fact that women do not negotiate their salary. Forget the fact that harassment is a criminal offense; the guy was just being nice and you women are just exaggerating.

Also Read: Why your male-dominated tech startup isn’t sustainable (and how to diversify)

And yes, this is also a jab at Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In.

What we can do instead

Go out more. Meet more women in tech. Listen to their stories, and try to actually listen. Don’t judge. Help when you can. I don’t know, just be less ignorant! The world does not revolve around you.

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Image Credit: napatcha / 123RF Stock Photo

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